When a classmate / peer complains or vents to you about another classmate / peer : “ I understand that you want to share what happened with me ; perhaps it would be better to speak directly with this person .” “ I think it would be more helpful if you talked to the person about how you feel rather than talking to me .” “ I understand that you are upset . What are your thoughts about talking with the person about what happened ?” “ Can you please not talk about this student / situation in front of the patient ?”
When a student / peer is verbally aggressive or condescending toward you : “ It ’ s not okay for you to speak to me like that .” “ I would appreciate it if you wouldn ’ t speak to me like that .” “ The way you ’ re talking to me right now is disrespectful / rude / unprofessional .” “ I am willing to listen to you as long as you are willing to talk to me respectfully as a professional .”
When speaking with a faculty member , preceptor , or clinical staff who lacks self-awareness ; before having this conversation , confer with your clinical or supervising faculty : “ I ’ m not sure you realize or are aware of this . Sometimes when you ( give a specific example ), you come across as abrasive / intimidating / condescending .” “ I ’ ve noticed that when you ( give a specific example ), you can be intimidating / condescending .” “ I noticed that you ( describe behavior , such as rolling eyes ). I believe that this is unprofessional behavior by a faculty member / clinical staff member . I am asking that you please stop doing this .” “ When you ( describe the specific behavior ) I feel demoralized or as though ( describe how the situation makes you feel ).
What to say to a clinical staff person who is clinically excellent yet is NOT a professional role model for the student / new grad : “ You ’ re an excellent clinician ( give a specific example ). However , the way you treat me is unprofessional / disrespectful ( provide a specific example ).
“ This is a professional environment , but you have not treated me like a professional .” “ The way you ’ ve been treating me is not okay . Possessing excellent clinical skills is not an excuse for being rude .”
When a peer , clinical person , or faculty member is acting in a very negative and / or unprofessional manner toward you in front of others : “ The way you ’ re acting right now is unprofessional .” “ I would appreciate it if you spoke to me in a more professional manner .” “ I would appreciate it if you wouldn ’ t speak to me like that because it ’ s unprofessional / disrespectful .” After you name the behavior , say that you want the behavior to stop , “ You ’ re yelling / arguing / criticizing me in front of people . Can you please stop ?” If the person becomes angry , say , “ I see that you are getting angry , so let ’ s discuss this else where ( or some other time ).”
When a faculty member emails negative , harsh , condescending , and / or unprofessional comments to you ( Patterson et al ., 2012 ): “ Hello , Professor . I would like to set up a time to discuss the email you sent me today . Would you be so kind as to meet with me ? During the meeting , in a soft tone , say “ I felt you were condescending ( state the specific comment ) in your email to me . It ’ s a tough topic to bring up , but I believe it will help us have a better relationship if we talk about this together .” ( Tip : Practice role-playing this scenario , perhaps record yourself ).
When you are cyberbullied ( healthleadersmedia . com , n . d .): If your professor or supervisor approves , Ask to speak to the person privately and bring a copy of the evidence . Use the D-E-S-C communication model . Describe : “ I was on Facebook yesterday , and my friend sent me this post because it was about me .” Explain the impact : “ I was stunned because I had no idea that you didn ’ t like working with me or that that was why you switched weekends .”
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