Shopping
Shopping during the silly season is like one of
those obstacle races quite in vogue with people
who have too much energy. You end up covered
in mud, cuts, bruises, and aches of all kinds the
next day, all while trying to convince yourself
that you had a “good time”.
However, like spandex cyclists three abreast
on a one-lane road, silly season shopping is
sometimes impossible to avoid. So if you are
going to do it, steer clear of big malls and outlets
if possible (I’m looking at you Gateway, Sandton,
Cavendish and Maponya).
If you have to go to a big mall or outlet, try doing
it at a time when everyone else might reasonably
be doing something else – the unicorn time.
Admit it, the earlier you get this onerous task
done, the better.
Holiday traffic
Beyond the economic benefits of the annual
migration to the sea for the silly season, roads
that are normally not so busy become congested,
while parking spots once infrequently used are
suddenly turned into a rampaging free for all.
This causes anger and impatience in South
Africa’s coastal towns and tourist hotspots along
with roads leading to the sea and other popular
destinations in the interior. However, with more
than 1000 people killed on South Africa’s roads
every silly season, it’s more than a good idea to
avoid being caught up in the carnage.
Be patient, get your car serviced, follow the
rules of the road and don’t act like a fool. You
will get there. Drinking and driving, if you don’t
know it already, is a very, very stupid idea.
Epilogue: Avoiding financial ruin
With all these activities comes the inevitable
emancipation of the wallet. Christmas bonuses,
if you got one, are extinguished in the rush to
feed the holiday hunger. There will always be
some form of expense, but the silly season is
two months of 12 at best, so spend and save
accordingly. Unlike sports movies featuring
Kevin Costner, the glory of excessive holiday
spending is temporary while the pain (and debt)
is long lasting.
Epilogue
If it makes you feel better, I have crash tested
this Ron Swanson-style wisdom on myself, and
while not entirely always successful (I mean...
Dennis Quaid doesn't nail it every time). So
far, they've helped to ensure I return from my
travails not in complete shambles.
And so, IMBO wishes you all the best for the
holiday season, have fun, be responsible and
travel safely.
By Eddie Schmidt
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IMBO/ ISSUE 32/ '14