their service , even if it is decades old . And for Prolonged Exposure Therapy , they must tell their two worst experiences . After scanning wartime memories and selecting two experiences , my husband became more depressed . Thankfully , he participated in 10 weeks of the VA-offered therapy . Frankly , there were only temporary shifts in behavior during the course of therapy . It did not provide any lasting benefits to assuage difficult behaviors triggered later in civilian and family life .
Thirdly , every time there are reports on the numbers of suicides among veterans — some say up to 22 a day — our family was impacted . Each time we have gone to war since Viet Nam , as well as 9 / 11 , were triggers that provoked unintentional negative actions or reactions .
Fourthly , later stages of life may touch off a veteran ’ s despair , guilt , shame and anger . Who then assists veterans and families throughout these times that may also trigger deeper wounds in the spouse , if they have one ?
I assert that this population of veterans , first responders and their families is a large population . This is especially so in Arizona due to renowned veteran services , an older demographic , and climate .
We need to expand our resources for veterans and families . We must compassionately revise the process to enter into the VA system . We need to have therapies that address and pacify symptoms of PTSD beyond the traditional modalities that do not always tackle the source of the trauma itself . We must create a platform or forum for veterans , first responders , those trained to kill , and their spouses and partners to speak up and begin to career and harms our families and truly heal . our communities , we can come to a And lastly , if we can break the greater sense of empathy and compassion for those gravely impacted by cancerous code of silence that surrounds a traumatized service person ’ s their selfless service to our nation .
HEALING OF MEMORIES
A s one of the participants in the first Healing of Memories for Spouses of Veterans in October , 2015 , I wrote a poem on the final day of the workshop . Three participants joined me to read it , musically supported by India Aire ’ s “ I am Light .” Although I have participated in and led hundreds of transformational workshops in over 30 years , I was deeply impacted by the power of this workshop to touch and heal my own deep wounds and connect me with those fellow spouses who were given voice , were heard , and took an important step toward healing .
Ode for Fellow Spouses of Veterans
We have travelled this dark lonely journey of hurts , pain , disease and even terror . We muster Courage in the face of Agony , Faith in the face of Despair , Honor in the face of Betrayal , and Utmost Strength in the face of Hopelessness .
We , spouses of our wounded warriors , Are the true warriors of the human heart . We are modest in our capacity to Redefine compassion , care and true service .
Let us be the Army , the Navy , the Marines , the Air Force , the Navy Seals of Universal Self-Care . Let us reach into the hearts of our silent battalion , And with our weapon of listening and love , Accelerate healing — mending — ending the insanity we have endured .
We are the Gold Star Spouses for the LIVING , We are the Blue Star Spouses for the SERVING , We are the Golden Purple Hearts for NURTURING The deepest wounds , not only in combat , but in ENSURING Our living a most precious peaceful life .
- Margaret Joy Weaver , October 15 , 2015
12 IMAGINE l SPRING 2016