Courageous Conversation
World peace begins with inner peace
BY LORI RUBENSTEIN
If a golden age of peace is to dawn, we first need to stop our inner wars, stop our destructive self-loathing, and learn how to accept, release, forgive, and love ourselves and others.
In this journey called life, we generally view reality through a small personal lens called“ my map of the world.” As we grow, learn, age, change, and connect with people who have different perspectives, different maps, our maps often change. My early map wasn’ t particularly happy. As a child I was often bullied by others, so it was easy for me to feel disconnected. My parents— who were too young to have children— divorced.
Feelings of abandonment and betrayal together with a lack of friends left me feeling alone. That feeling of separateness from others can set off a whole range of destructive emotions, like jealousy, envy, greed, and pride. I turned to drugs and went looking for love in all the wrong places.
Our map of the world is formed by the lingering and predominant thoughts we allow to swim around in our head. So if we don’ t feel peace within, how can we experience or create peace in the world?
Stopping self-abuse and practicing forgiveness and self-compassion is always a good start. Have you ever thought how life would be different if you truly believed that your thoughts created your life? If you believed this to be true, what changes would you be prepared to make and how meticulous would you be with your thoughts?
I knew from my childhood what it was like to feel separate and to not fit in. Separation creates a“ we-they” phenomenon. It makes it possible to hate someone else. Although we see ourselves as separate, we don’ t realize that invisible energy fields around us actually intersect when we come together.
Many years and experiences have brought me to a healthier, more peaceful inner map of the world. Today, as a forgiveness teacher, I have seen how some people can forgive others and not themselves. But worse, many beat themselves up for not being able or ready to forgive.“ If I’ m so spiritual, why can’ t I let go; why can’ t I forgive?” Feelings are feelings and still need to be honored. Only from that point of honoring our feelings will true forgiveness really settle in and the possibility of inner peace arise.
From a large cultural vantage point, author and visionary, Jean Houston, talks about periods of time in society when we are in the midst of transitions; she calls this“ being in the parenthesis.” I personally felt a great deal of anger and hurt when I was in a parenthesis time of my life. From 1979 to 1986, I was in an awesome, exciting and loving lesbian relationship. No one in my family was happy about it, but in particular, my father was furious. He was ashamed of me. He actually wrote me a note when I gradu-
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