Maintain your own regulation ( and model managing your own dysregulation )
Teach parents to try the following :
“ Tap out ” when they have had it . Can another caregiver take over ?
Remember their own self-care .
Take a planned break from the parenting role : get a babysitter for a night out or send the kids to grandparents or friends for a peaceful night in .
When parents do get dysregulated , they can model how they would like to see their child
manage their dysregulation .
Parent who ’ s been coached : “ I need a break . I ’ m going to take a few minutes to myself , I ’ ll be right back .” or
“ I ’ m sorry I screamed , I was frustrated and tired and will try not to raise my voice again .”
Calmly hold boundaries Allow small compromises Offer two acceptable choices
Example :
Child : “ I don ’ t want to go home from the park !!”
Parent who ’ s been coached : “ You ’ re having so much fun ! I can see that ! ( validation ) Let ’ s play for one more minute ( compromise ) before we head home ( boundary ).”
Child : “ I don ’ t want to go to bed !”
Parent who ’ s been coached : “ You really want to stay up ! It ’ s hard to leave all the fun ! ( validation ) Do you want to walk up by yourself or should I give you a piggy back ride ( two acceptable choices & boundary )?
Choose your battles
The morning rush to get out the door might not be the best time to expect independence with shoe donning . Remember : what is the goal ? Independent shoe donning or getting out the door in three minutes ? Either one can be worked on , but maybe not both together .
Empower your child while maintaining & modeling calm
Example : Child : “ I want a snack !”
Parent who ’ s been coached : “ Oh you are hungry ! ( validation ) Why don ’ t you get the stool and reach a box of raisins from the shelf ? ( empower , hold boundary )”
Child : “ Get me my toy !”
Parent who ’ s been coached : “ Your toy is far away ! Are you too tired to go get it ? ( validation ) Take a rest for a few minutes then I bet you ’ ll have the energy to get it . ( empower , hold boundary )”
Bring in humor and laughter
Parents can literally bring a knock-knock joke book to dinner . Conflict or anger are hard to maintain while laughing .
Laura Goltz , OTR / L , C / NDT – AMSIS Secretary
Laura Goltz OTR / L , C / NDT is the founder and president of Timber Ridge Pediatric Therapy , LLC . She is passionate about helping people healthily and successfully engage with their environment , with a focus on growth and empowerment . Laura pursues these passions through her leadership at Timber Ridge Pediatric Therapy , as a parent coach , in her program development , as a presenter of educational workshops , and in her teaching as a dance fitness instructor . Laura is certified in NDT advanced baby treatment , and she currently serves as the secretary of the Administration and Management Special Interest Section . The Administration and Management Special Interest Section focuses on identifying and sharing best-practice techniques that can support leaders and managers across all OT practice settings . Oftentimes this involves policy and procedure related to practice management and other times it includes innovative techniques that can support Occupational Therapy Practitioners in clinical practice . If interested in joining AMSIS , please reach out to Co-Chairs : Nancy Richman , nzrichman @ aol . com and Frank Czuba , fczuba @ govst . edu .
9 Illinois Occupational Therapy Association | 2024 ISSUE 3 / 4