Illinois Illinois | Page 13

ABUSE MAGAZINE My experiences with abuse young, then was a single parent at age 20 after the judge awarded me physical custody of Jessica when she was 15 months old. I remarried when she was 5, along came two more daughters, and my use of alcohol to cope was now becoming a problem. I was born to an alcoholic father and neurotic mother. At age two my parents were divorced and I was subsequently adopted by another alcoholic ~adoptive father. He was abusive. He gave me “reminders” every now and then typically by way of a belt, grabbing my throat and hair, kicking but not to the extent that I had bruises that may tip off a teacher or other adult. But this was also in the 1970s, when child abuse was just beginning to be identified as a social problem that is more than a domestic issue. He called me “stupid” frequently, as well as, other names I will not mention in this editorial. Looking back, being the product of an alcoholic father with several character defects, I was difficult to manage. I loathed authority and fought back albeit passively. My adoptive father came from the Navy. So I was often in survival mode as a youngster. At age 17 he finally gave up trying to raise me. He told me to never contact him again and he meant it. I haven’t had contact with him now for 32 years. At age 17 I dropped out of high school in my senior year. My mother left my adoptive father after their business (Baxter Boat Dock) burned into the water of Table Rock Lake in southern Missouri. That was their second business; their first was a small airport where my adoptive father taught me to fly. See, he was not always abusive, he also taught me some good life lessons, like to work hard. I earned my GED then learned the hard way I wasn’t going to be able to make a decent living without a college education. I married young, divorced Source: by David Ekman - MEDOVIN.COM (Trustworthy Counseling) At age 30 I went to detox for alcohol, then intensive outpatient. I drank off and on for years finally hitting bottom in the winter of 2010. By then I had not been inebriated since March 31, 2008 but I was homeless, jobless, wrecked my relationships with my children, two DUIs and was floundering without any sense of who I was or where I was going. I was very spiritually ill. Since the winter of 2010 my life has been getting slowly better without the thought of drinking ever returning. But here’s an important point I hope you remember. For years I felt sorry for myself. I had been abused physically, mentally and emotionally, and I used that fact along with losing a very good job due to my substance abuse to throw a pity party for myself that lasted 7 years. Hindsight is 20/20. Being a senior and faced with making important decisions about your future I hope you remember that whatever comes your way it is always up to you; the ball is always in your court. That’s just an existential reality that can’t be changed. What others have done to you, what is outside of you is irrelevant because it’·s beyond your control. Addiction can be insidious and a subtle foe; it can sneak up on you. As part of my dissertation I learned a growing consensus of research shows that those who are motivated to use alcohol (and/or other drugs) to cope are at increased risk for substance-related problems. Reach out for help if you need it. Strive to better know yourself and pay attention. Be mindful of how you’re feeling and what you’re doing. Like Ellen says, “Be kind to one another’’. Don’t abuse others and don’t abuse alcohol and other drugs. Above all, believe in something greater than yourself. At some point along your life journey you’ll need it. 475 Schmale Rd. Carol Stream, IL 630-462-8607 “We are proud to help our youth Build an ABUSE FREE Future! 630-961-5800 Wendy’s is proud to be a drug free workplace! 40 Shuman Blvd. Ste #130 • Naperville, IL 210 Alexandra Way • Carol Stream, IL 630-871-1111 Proudly providing our youth with the POWER to say NO to drugs & alcohol. www.inlandpowergroup.com abusemagazine.org | Illinois Winter 2014 | 13