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want to accept uncertainty in their lives , so they go looking for answers and wind up finding some kook conspiracy theorist who provides them with a really strange , in my mind , explanation for things for which there are no concrete answers . It ’ s like a security blanket for the witless . I think people don ’ t like feeling insecure , unsure , etc , so they ’ re looking for someone to give them an answer that reassures them that none of their problems are their own fault , that someone else is to blame .
IE : Fortunately , the futuristic Idiocracy computer has tabulated a new official name for you — Not Sure . And Carl ’ s , Jr . will now be taking your children away ! LRB : Ha ! Yes ! We aren ’ t drinking enough Brawndo , homie ! We don ’ t have enough electrolytes ! I wish Alonzo Hector Camacho — I can ’ t even remember his whole name — I wish and I see that with my own two eyes in coastal areas . This is not a theoretical thing to me — it ’ s physically manifested because I spend a lot of time in the water , by the sea , surfing . And I see rising sea levels . And not just in some places like Outer Banks , which is a barrier island in North Carolina . I surfed a lot because , as such , it ’ s constantly shifting . But in rocky coastal areas , the beach is diminishing as the water rises . You go back , and there ’ s less and less beach there . In tropical areas , I see the mangroves disappearing . And all this is due to climate change and the rising sea levels . I find it both absurd and entirely depressing that there are people already trading in water futures . That ’ s happening . When the stockbrokers are looking at what ’ s going to come , like a shortage of fresh water , it can make you a bit cynical . But I can only control myself . That ’ s one of the most important things to remember — that I have precisely no control over anyone or anything except for myself , and I can only try and lead my life in a manner that leads me to be able to lay my head down on my pillow at night and say , “ Well , dude — you tried .”
22 illinoisentertainer . com october 2022 he would come to be in charge . It would make more sense than some of the things that I ’ ve seen of late .
IE : James Lovelock , the scientist who created the Gaia Theory , just passed away . And he warned us years ago of the coming floods , fires , droughts , and mass migrations . LRB : Yeah . And the Gaia Theory , I think , is kind of playing out . And I ’ ve felt that for a while , and I ’ ve addressed this in song years ago — we had a song called “ Reclamation .” The Earth is our host , and if we are only parasitic upon it , eventually , the Earth will cleanse itself of us . Even if we wipe every living thing off the planet and it has to start over again , from a single-celled organism , it ’ s like George Carlin said — “ The planet ’ s gonna be fine . People are probably gonna go away , but the planet ’ s gonna be fine . We are not respecting the planet , and the water levels are rising , you know ? And if you study what ’ s going on in Greenland and all that stuff , it ’ s jacking up ,
IE : Unlike Kevin Costner , you haven ’ t grown a set of gills yet . LRB : I keep hoping ! Waterworld ! What a great movie ! At one time , it was the most expensive movie ever made !
IE : But you ’ re very resourceful . When did you get hip to selling Cameo video greetings and then funneling those profits back into jungle reclamation in South America ? LRB : Well , with the Cameo stuff , Cameo had been after me for a long time to do it , right ? But punk rock guilt kept me from doing it because the title of it is “ Get messages from celebrities , and I just don ’ t feel like a celebrity — I just don ’ t . I don ’ t like to apply that word to myself , and I don ’ t like ' rock star ,' either . It ’ s a bummer , for some reason . So punk rock guilt kept me from doing it . But at the start of the pandemic , I bought a fair amount of property — along with my friend Carlos and his family — down in Ecuador , former cattle land . And at the time , I couldn ’ t say where it was because continues on page 24