Illinois Entertainer May 2019 | Page 8

l e a h c i M continued from page 6 date, in stark tracks like “Keys,” “Visions,” and “Weird Ways.” Discussing the change of heart, the artist himself sounds touched, and remarkably grateful he didn’t throw it all away on a passing whim. whim. where you’re born, but you [do] choose where you live and how you live. And there’s this passage of time where you realize this, and it’s bittersweet; to truly understand where you come from. But then you have to deal with the fact that you can never recreate, even if it’s a clear memory. IE: Fidelity is important as the year's pass – to an artist staying true to their craft, and even a journalist staying true to said visionary artist as their work progresses. TS: That’s my favorite thing. People have these questions sometimes, like, “Do you like doing these interviews and purging your soul?” And I’m like, “Yeah! Because I’m kind of fundamentally lonely. And obviously, if you look at my career, I’m not 05•2019 ILLINOIS ENTERTAINER: Were you not happy with Hard Love? TIMOTHY SHOWALTER: I like all my albums — that’s why I do this. When I look at the careers of other artists that I admire, I like the arc, where you can look back and see everything. And if I had made HEAL 2, I never would have pushed the envelope with Hard Love. And now that’s not even my newest record to dis- cuss – I’ve got Eraserland. So with all of it, and how you move as an artist, I never am sure what’s gonna happen. But one of the nicest things that happened over the past couple of years was, I really learned to love my home. Because you don’t choose 8 illinoisentertainer.com may 2019 Timothy Showalter in this for the pop star game. I’m in this to connect and somehow release whatever things are inside my head and make a doc- ument of it, almost like a message in a bot- tle. And whoever finds it typically are peo- ple I would want to connect with anyway. That’s what’s so cool about playing con- certs and looking out at your fans. I think maybe the reason I do this is to be some kind of antenna that shoots out this signal to other like-minded people, and you gather your own tribes. And it definitely helps, because a lot of times this isn’t easy music to play, on an emotional level. And we’re feeling a lot right now, things that aren’t necessarily good – what consump- Photo: Alysse Gafkajen tion means, what branding means, what’s the true spirit of why people do this. Chris Cornell had the same birthday, and I always felt such a connection with him. And I wrote that song “Moon Landing” about him, and I bookended it with Malcolm Young because, in their own way, they were perfect. They both will never be emulated ever again. And once we don’t have them anymore, there’s that void that you have to deal with. But that’s a lot of what’s in this record, and the problem with Eraserland is, it isn’t an easy one to describe. It’s not like HEAL, which was primarily linear - it was more like, “I’m at the beach, the water’s coming in – and I don't care if there’s a nuclear bomb going off. The universe just does not care. So Eraserland is neither positive nor negative. It’s about going through and understand- ing the process of being alive, and all the things that come with it. That’s somehow where I landed with the record. IE: But you actually toyed with quitting? TS: I tied so much of myself into what the band is. I mean, I had my own identity for 31 years of my life, of hobbies and interests