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IE : Like Seinfeld ' s Flaming orbs of Sigmund ? TM : Exactly . And that ’ s something that I still do , and usually , nothing comes of it , except that it leaves you in some sort of weird mood that you can ’ t get out of until you fall back asleep again and then rewake up for the day .
IE : You ’ ve always said that you ’ ve carried notebooks ever since you were a little kid . Have you actually kept all the notebooks ? And how many are there ? TM : Oh , yeah . And at this point , I don ’ t even know where everything is — my life is such a clusterfuck of crap that I ’ ve held onto through the years , just boxes and boxes of notebooks somewhere . But generally , that ’ s not something I ever revisit . I always think that I write everything down , but if an idea is worth remembering , you ’ ll revisit it . You may have to go back and look for it , but that ’ s a good , steadfast kind of rule .
IE : There ’ s one thing I can ’ t discern because you ’ ve toyed with the imagery — what ’ s your take on motorcycles ? Do you ride yourself , or do you avoid them like the plague after what happened to Kato ? TM : I don ’ t ride . But I don ’ t have a license , so that ’ s part of the picture , too . I ’ m working on it . But who needs a license when you can ’ t leave the house ? But I grew up around that . My dad rides motorcycles , a lot of my friends ride motorcycles , so I grew up on the BACK of motorcycles my whole life . And they obviously come with a little bit of pain now , but Kato loved riding his motorcycle — that was something that brought him so much joy . So using that kind of imagery — especially for the single — I really wanted to capture that . Like , Kato loved AC / DC , and he loved some of that ‘ 80s rock , which isn ’ t really my thing . But he loved it , so the single cover for “ Death By Rock and Roll ” was very much an homage to him , where it ’ s a little glammy , and it ’ s a little outside something I would normally do . That ’ s where that image came from . But as far as the music , the whole record is an homage to him — it starts with his footsteps , it ’ s titled after a phrase he used to say — an ethic and code that we lived our life by — ‘ Death by rock and roll ,’ which is this battle cry for freedom , a battle cry for life . Just live life your own way , go out your own way , and don ’ t let anyone tell you differently . And then the record takes you on this whole journey , and then it ends with “ Harley Darling ,” which is very much my love song to him . It ’ s a very full-circle , fullstory journey of a record if you take the time to listen to it from front to back , which I feel is very important . It certainly encapsulates a time in my life , from front to back , even in the way that it starts out very dark and heavy and almost bleak . And then , halfway through the album , there ’ s this kind of musical shift , where it starts to get a little lighter , and it starts to open up until you see that there is light at the end of this very dark tunnel and that there is hope . And that ’ s something that I hope people see and understand in this record — at the end of the day , I think this record is a very hopeful album , at its core . And I think that ’ s something that everyone could use more of right now , especially in these crazy times we ’ re all living in . Everyone could use a little more hope . And couldn ’ t we all use a little more rock and roll ?
IE : You ’ ve said that your image has gradually changed from the stripper heels you used to wear as a teenager . Where is it now ? TM : Does anyone have a sense of fashion right now ? Right now , my style consists of black tank tops , sweatshirts , sweatpants , socks , and slippers . But what I ’ ve been wearing recently when I feel a little bit more like a human being is , I ’ ll put on my boots and add a leather jacket and call it a day . But my style is always ever-evolving , just like I am as a person . And I think fashion and the way you present yourself is simply that — it ’ s a physical expression of how you feel , so I don ’ t ever really dress with any intent , other than that being how I feel that day . So my wardrobe consists of a lot of black , but that ’ s just because I never really have to think about it , especially on tour — everything matches . It ’ s all good ! So I dunno . It ’ ll be interesting to see how my style evolves going forward . We just filmed three videos back to back , so that was a lot of fun — I got to play with fashion in a real way .
IE : That red dress was awesome — it twirled like a flower . TM : Christian Siriano makes gorgeous gowns - he ’ s a really cool designer . And that was the perfect one . I tried on a billion dresses for that , but I put that one on , and I was like , “ That ’ s it ! There ’ s the magic dress ! There ’ s the magic moment !” So filming those videos was a lot of fun , because that was kind of the first step back into the fashion world , for lack of a better term . It ’ s been a long time since I could finally get out of my sweatpants and into some glamorous wardrobe to accompany the story of these songs !
IE : Final comment on all of this : Having talked to you since the first album , when you already seemed like an old soul , if that was truly the case , this album and circumstances surrounding it are your midlife crisis , right ? TM : I mean , it ’ s definitely a quarter-life crisis . Do I believe in past lives ? I don ’ t know what I believe . But I know that there are things out there that I don ’ t know , and knowledge comes in knowing that you know nothing . And I know that there have been certain meetings of minds and certain experiences that have happened in my life that are just too kismet and too weird not to have been predestined , where something magical has happened that is otherworldly . Like , when I first met Ben and Kato , that was an incredible moment for all of us , where we all felt like , “ How is that I feel like I ’ ve known you forever ? We ’ ve just met , and this makes no sense on paper , but we ’ ve all known each other , and we immediately had this bond and connection , like I ’ ve known you for ten lifetimes over .” And those kinds of moments are things that stick with you , and you have to recognize them and roll with them . I feel like if you don ’ t pay attention , they ’ ll float right by you , and you might have missed something really important .
Something that will change your life forever you know ?