Ihsaan Magazine May 2020 Issue - Living your best Life | Page 12

LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE AFTER
Divorce
Written By: Jehan Ali
can; husband or lack thereof.
In the beginning, I became
overwhelmed and behaved
as if it was my duty alone
to do it all on my own. Not
being able to ask for help
was my biggest downfall. I
became emotionally stressed
and my stress began to
affect my relationship with
my daughter. It even began
to affect the quality of my
Salaat because I was always
worried about what was to
come next.
I wish that what I have to tell you was filled
with unicorns and sunshine and rainbows.
I
wish there was a magical
pill that I could recommend
to ensure that life remains
perfectly as you want it and
that things flow smoothly 24/7.
However, my somewhat bitter
pill is that “things don’t always
work out as we had hoped” and
“this life will never be perfect”.
My name is Jehan Ali and I’ve
been divorced for roughly 7
years. I have one daughter.
At this point, I’m sure you
could tell that my life didn’t
quite turn out exactly as I’d
envisioned on my wedding day.
Now before you go assuming
that I’m about to delve into
some deep self-pity. Stop right
there and read with an open
mind and heart.
The early days of my new life
as a divorced woman; was
filled with a lot of sadness
and depression. There were
days that I wasn’t able to get
out of bed. I (understandably)
still needed to heal from the
fact that my plans for my life
were now broken. My biggest
question was; “how am I going
to do this alone?”
As a single mom though;
sometimes we have no
other option but to force
our selves to move for our
babies. My daughter needed
me, she still needs me and
Alhamdulillaah she is one of
my biggest motivations to live
and continue living. Allaah
SWT has entrusted my little
one to me to take care of. He
has allowed me this beautiful
blessing of motherhood and it
is my responsibility to Him to
nurture my baby to the best I
As time passed though, I
realised that I was not as
alone as I thought I was
going to be. Allaah SWT
provides from places you
can’t even imagine, and
sometimes we have to
look around and see those
around us that are willing
to help. Alhamdulillaah for
family support and even
the support of my exspouse
and in-laws. (Side
note: maintaining good/
cordial/civil relations with
ex-spouse and in-laws is
imperative to your child’s
happiness. Never allow
them to see any negativity
between the two parties).
A lot of self-healing
happened when I stopped
seeing myself as this label
“divorced single mother”.
I’m more than these words.
Yes Alhamdulillaah a
mother, but I’m more than
a “divorcee”. I’m a woman,
I’m a servant of Allaah SWT,
I have things to offer this