Be Loyal
Yes, it is quite easy to say you love your spouse and say that no one can ever come between you both, Alhamdulillah. However, we need to remember that Shaytaan works hard to bring strife and disharmony between a husband and wife, and what better way to try to do this than by trying to get one or the other to be unfaithful in their marriage?
Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,“ Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.” Sahih Muslim: 2813
After the“ honeymoon phase” of your marriage is over, and life happens, it may be easy for us to simply“ look” at someone else. This opens the door to Shaytaan, giving him the opportunity he is patiently waiting for to do what he does best. However, it is during these times in our marriage that by remembering why we got married in the first instance and sincerely fearing Allah, it will help us to strengthen our bond with our spouse.
Love each other even when you don’ t“ Feel” it
This may sound like a weird concept, and you may think“ how can I love someone when I don’ t feel it”? Well, Love isn’ t always an emotion that we are constantly overflowing with and after being married for some years, you will understand and appreciate that love for your spouse is no longer that butterfly feeling in your stomach, but rather it is in the way you feel after being appreciated for doing the little every day mundane things, knowing that after a long, hard day at work, you can come home to each other, it is in the way you help each other with the children, how you have each other to cry to, laugh with, share a personal moment with, and simply be your absolute natural self without fear of judgement. It is being able to share your most intimate thoughts and feelings with each other and not feel vulnerable.
Loving beyond the love is actually growing old together, growing spiritually and emotionally together, facing life’ s toughest trials together and still coming out on top, stronger, and better able to face a new day together, rather than aimlessly drifting apart. Loving beyond the love is not having to say I love you each and every moment, because you already know it and see it and feel it.
“ And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your( hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” [ Surah Ar Rum: 21 ]
See beyond the years
Yes we all understand that we will age, and a part of this aging is the physical changing of our bodies. We will one day look in the mirror and realise that we no longer look as youthful as the day we got married, and we may not be as healthy as we once were. We will look at our spouse and see the age spots, or the tiny wrinkles around the eyes and it will hit us, that“ life” has happened and the once vibrant, energetic, fit and trim person we married may simply become the man or woman who has been through life experiences that has caused them to now take on the burden of stress they once never imagined they would. Being married means seeing beyond these physical and even emotional changes that occur and yet beneath it all, still seeing the person you fell in love with all those years before. It means still finding utmost beauty in the person standing before you, no matter how much they may have changed.
Stand firm Side by Side
Sometimes, in the midst of enjoying our lives with our spouses and families, we are taken upon suddenly by trials that tend to rock the very core of our being and sometimes the sanctity that is marriage. We are sometimes tested in ways we never imagine could ever happen to us and it can leave us broken and lost, feeling as though we have nothing left in this world. It is during these times where we would find solace and comfort in our spouse, to help us deal with our difficult situations. Being
Half Your Deen
married doesn’ t only mean being there in the good times, in the easy times and happy times, but it counts most when we are the rock upon which our spouse can lean, in the moments when life gets us down. Standing firm together to weather any storm and coming out stronger after it, is one of the most gratifying things about being married. Be prepared to be strong for each other, because there will be times we each need to be the rock upon which the other relies and then there will be times where we will be the one in need of being comforted and taken care of.
Be prepared to fight
Fight? Yes Fight. Fight for your marriage to be the longest lasting relationship in your life both in this world and in the hereafter. Fight to keep your marriage the happiest part of your life, and to make your marriage worth every single second together. Be prepared to fight to make it the comfort to which you return, no matter where you go and what you do. Fight with everything you have to keep your marriage as one of the greatest things you have in this life that is most pleasing to Allah. Fight to let your marriage be a guiding light and the perfect example of how your children should live their lives with and treat their spouses in the future. Fight, to keep your marriage as the most peaceful, warm, loving and happiest time of your life, where you turn to for comfort and peace in a world filled with overwhelming fitnah, because quite frankly, without Allah and that kind of marriage, what else do we have?
Marriage is an institution that takes effort, time and energy, and most importantly the emotional and spiritual nurturing of two souls that have agreed to join together for the pleasure of Allah. Let us thread upon this path with utmost reliance upon Allah and trust that with our sincere intentions for getting married, He( AWJ) will bestow upon us spouses who will be of benefit and a comfort to us both in this world, and we will be joined together for eternity in our final abode, Jannah.
Ihsaan | Issue 1 | 45