If and Only If: A Journal of Body Image and Eating Disorders Winter 2015 | Page 90

despite your size, I’m in love and attracted to everything about you.”

“If you turned into that” Jake pointed to the living room. “I think things would be very different between us. And how could you possibly think I could become tired of you, when you’re the woman I plan to have children with someday?”

“Oh Jake.” Lisbeth rested a hand on his head. “I would be really humongous, pregnant.”

“You’d probably turn into a beach ball, and then I’d have to roll you around.” His body shook as he laughed at the image.

“What is it Dora can do that you can’t?” Jake said.

Lisbeth glanced away. Jake put his head in her lap.

“Tell me.” His voice was warm, but there was hint of a command and hidden consequences if she refused.

She took a deep breath and forced out the words that had plagued for the last two weeks.

“We can’t have sex standing up.”

Jake raised his head and a big smile appeared on his face, followed by the eyebrow raise that sent her body into quivers. “Get up.”

They stood up at the same time and he tugged her over to the pantry closet and pressed her back against the door.

“First I’m going to show you that you can have sex standing up and then you’re going to eat every last bit of that breakfast.” Jake raised an eyebrow.

Lisbeth smiled. “Maybe.”

Jake swooped down to his knees and she felt the tug of her underwear as it was dragged past her thighs and down her legs. She felt his tongue trace a path between her lips, causing her knees to involuntarily bend.

Jake leaned back and grinned at her. “I don’t think I should reward you if you’re not going to eat.”

“Okay, I’ll eat.” She gripped the hair on top his head and pushed him back between her legs.

She arched her back and tried to ignore the grooves in the door that were biting into her back. When she could finally stand no more she begged Jake to enter. He grabbed her left leg and put her foot on the counter.

“Look how limber this big girl is.” His hand trailed along her leg until he clasped her buttock and rammed in.

She expected the usual exploding fireworks, but something wasn’t right. Something was off. After a few minutes she found herself staring at the clock above the stove.