If and Only If: A Journal of Body Image and Eating Disorders Winter 2015 | Page 32

Cetoria Tomberlin

Hunger

The battlefield is my body,

but it’s also me.

Nothing tastes as good

as being thin

feels.

My body protests, but I resist

giving comfort—

to her sweet tooth,

her thick thighs.

I know the little

cravings are coming.

When they do,

I’ll thrive.

The miles I can go on an empty

stomach always seem greater

in my head. False adrenaline

feels so much like the real thing.

It’s nice for once to be the betrayer;

to see the damage I can cause

even if it’s to myself.

Skin loses elasticity,

pigmentation, hair breaking,

nails folding then tearing.

You don’t look well, Dear.

Are you making a joke?

Irony is so confusing these days.

Nothing tastes as good

as being thin

feels.