However, my biggest fear was a life of
poverty- for this reason I had to go back
to form four.
In 1998 I repeated senior year (form 4).
I was unable to get admission in any of
the high or medium ranked schools I
tried to enroll. I managed to secure
admission to a lower level high school
that was in a very poor area. It was
close to Mathare - Kenya's second
largest slum and Eastleigh. It had two
highly segregated form 4 classes: one
class had the disciplined, studios
students and the other one had the
undisciplined, rowdy students. I wanted
to be in the former class but it was full.
So, I was placed in the latter class. Here,
I was sometimes treated as the most
intelligent student. One day a student
told me that he knew that I would go to
the U.S. for further studies. It was the
right thing to say to students that were
considered intelligent at that time
because students from elite schools and
wealthy families were going for further
studies in high numbers. I was in neither
of those social categories and so I
quickly dismissed that thought. Nonetheless, they sought my help with their
assignments and most of the time truant
students asked to copy my work. I did
not like it but I enjoyed the protection I
got in turn. I needed it. In this class
small crimes were rampant and sometimes random fights by mini-gangs.
Knifes were all over, drugs were always
being traded, some drank alcohol in the
middle of the day, and some had criminal records. I was too afraid to be
involved in any of it. Fortunately, these
were the students that sought my help
and ensured no one messed with me.
One of them was a well-known criminal
out of class, who always bragged about
his nightly crimes and arrests.
Unfortunately, I did not have anyone to
run to for help with my school work.
The teachers cared less about the class,
with some of them fearing for their lives
if they disciplined the erring students.
My class lacked the favor of most
teachers.They only did the bare minimum amount of work and sometimes
did not even finish covering the course
IDEA DIAPORA 12
books. They had lost hope in the
students and unfortunately that included
me. So I had to work extra hard to
ensure I did well in the national exams.
I used to arrive in school by 7 am to
study for an hour before classes begin
and leave at 7 pm, two hours after
classes ended so that I could do some
extra studying. This work ethic led
another student to suggest that I was
planning to go to the U.S. for further
studies. Again, I dismissed this notion.
At home I woke up at 3 am when
everyone had gone to bed so that I could
work on my assignments.
In December 1998 I took the national
university entry exams for the second
time. I was sure I had attained the
minimum grade required to join a
university this time. Some of my
classmates had casually predicted that I
would do so well and then leave for the
U.S. for college. This was becoming
some sort of prophesy that gave me
unrealistic hope. Given my poor
circumstances, going to the U.S was
impossible. I dismissed the notion
quickly and focused on the goal of
joining a university in Kenya. It took
about a month to get the results. In
January 1999 the results were released.
The results shocked me. I went through
the list for about 5 times as if I didn't
believe my name was "Levy Odera". I
was in denial. But every time I reviewed
the list it still “Levy Odera” had an
overall grade of C+, which was the
same grade I attained in 1995. I felt so
stupid and wondered whether I had the
brains for attaining higher education. I
was sadly back to the same spot I had
been after my first attempt in 1995. To
some extent, I believed that a high
school certificate was the end of education for me. I was convinced my destiny
was a life of poverty. I did not know
what to do to prevent this outcome
because I had already tried everything
within my power. My parents were also
financially unable to help me. Their
mountains of debt had significantly
increased along with increasing household needs. The only person I hoped
would help me was God. I had so many
conversations with Him, most of them
seeking answers to the hardships I was
facing. I surrendered the situation to
Him but in some sense I felt that there
was something wrong I may have done
and God was not going to respond to
my needs. I was going through a major
crisis of faith. Regardless, of the growing doubt in God, the only place I found
peace, comfort, and assurance of a
better future was in His presence. I was
convinced that only miracles could
change my circumstances. So, I prayed
fervently and waited patiently.
For two years I went through a major
drought in my life. I felt as if I was
wandering in a desert searching for an
elusive oasis. I was desperate for
miracle and tried to force them to
happen. I sent letters to some major
personalities in the U.S. requesting for
funding, such as Bishop T.D. Jakes and
Oprah. I had seen shows where they
talked about helping poor Africans and
thought I could be fortunate enough to
be included among these Africans. But I
only got rejection letters. I decided to
intensify my prayers by fasting. In
2000, after fasting and praying regularly
and also waiting on God, my sister who was in the US - was the first
answer to my prayers. She was fortunate
enough to find some money and offered
to start off my pursuit of a college
diploma. But she wasn't going to be able
to cover all the costs, especially bus
fare. I wondered how I would get to a
college that