IDEA MAGAZINE September-November 2015 | Page 13

However, my biggest fear was a life of poverty- for this reason I had to go back to form four. In 1998 I repeated senior year (form 4). I was unable to get admission in any of the high or medium ranked schools I tried to enroll. I managed to secure admission to a lower level high school that was in a very poor area. It was close to Mathare - Kenya's second largest slum and Eastleigh. It had two highly segregated form 4 classes: one class had the disciplined, studios students and the other one had the undisciplined, rowdy students. I wanted to be in the former class but it was full. So, I was placed in the latter class. Here, I was sometimes treated as the most intelligent student. One day a student told me that he knew that I would go to the U.S. for further studies. It was the right thing to say to students that were considered intelligent at that time because students from elite schools and wealthy families were going for further studies in high numbers. I was in neither of those social categories and so I quickly dismissed that thought. Nonetheless, they sought my help with their assignments and most of the time truant students asked to copy my work. I did not like it but I enjoyed the protection I got in turn. I needed it. In this class small crimes were rampant and sometimes random fights by mini-gangs. Knifes were all over, drugs were always being traded, some drank alcohol in the middle of the day, and some had criminal records. I was too afraid to be involved in any of it. Fortunately, these were the students that sought my help and ensured no one messed with me. One of them was a well-known criminal out of class, who always bragged about his nightly crimes and arrests. Unfortunately, I did not have anyone to run to for help with my school work. The teachers cared less about the class, with some of them fearing for their lives if they disciplined the erring students. My class lacked the favor of most teachers.They only did the bare minimum amount of work and sometimes did not even finish covering the course IDEA DIAPORA 12 books. They had lost hope in the students and unfortunately that included me. So I had to work extra hard to ensure I did well in the national exams. I used to arrive in school by 7 am to study for an hour before classes begin and leave at 7 pm, two hours after classes ended so that I could do some extra studying. This work ethic led another student to suggest that I was planning to go to the U.S. for further studies. Again, I dismissed this notion. At home I woke up at 3 am when everyone had gone to bed so that I could work on my assignments. In December 1998 I took the national university entry exams for the second time. I was sure I had attained the minimum grade required to join a university this time. Some of my classmates had casually predicted that I would do so well and then leave for the U.S. for college. This was becoming some sort of prophesy that gave me unrealistic hope. Given my poor circumstances, going to the U.S was impossible. I dismissed the notion quickly and focused on the goal of joining a university in Kenya. It took about a month to get the results. In January 1999 the results were released. The results shocked me. I went through the list for about 5 times as if I didn't believe my name was "Levy Odera". I was in denial. But every time I reviewed the list it still “Levy Odera” had an overall grade of C+, which was the same grade I attained in 1995. I felt so stupid and wondered whether I had the brains for attaining higher education. I was sadly back to the same spot I had been after my first attempt in 1995. To some extent, I believed that a high school certificate was the end of education for me. I was convinced my destiny was a life of poverty. I did not know what to do to prevent this outcome because I had already tried everything within my power. My parents were also financially unable to help me. Their mountains of debt had significantly increased along with increasing household needs. The only person I hoped would help me was God. I had so many conversations with Him, most of them seeking answers to the hardships I was facing. I surrendered the situation to Him but in some sense I felt that there was something wrong I may have done and God was not going to respond to my needs. I was going through a major crisis of faith. Regardless, of the growing doubt in God, the only place I found peace, comfort, and assurance of a better future was in His presence. I was convinced that only miracles could change my circumstances. So, I prayed fervently and waited patiently. For two years I went through a major drought in my life. I felt as if I was wandering in a desert searching for an elusive oasis. I was desperate for miracle and tried to force them to happen. I sent letters to some major personalities in the U.S. requesting for funding, such as Bishop T.D. Jakes and Oprah. I had seen shows where they talked about helping poor Africans and thought I could be fortunate enough to be included among these Africans. But I only got rejection letters. I decided to intensify my prayers by fasting. In 2000, after fasting and praying regularly and also waiting on God, my sister who was in the US - was the first answer to my prayers. She was fortunate enough to find some money and offered to start off my pursuit of a college diploma. But she wasn't going to be able to cover all the costs, especially bus fare. I wondered how I would get to a college that