Campfire Laughs
Two men went bear hunting . While one stayed in the cabin , the other went out looking for a bear . He soon found a huge bear , shot at it but only wounded it . The enraged bear charged toward him , he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could . He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step . Just as he reached the open cabin door , he tripped and fell flat . Too close behind to stop , the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin . The man jumped up , closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside , " You skin this one while I go and get another one !
Morning : 1:00 AM : Alarm clock rings . 2:00 AM : Hunting partners arrive , drag you out of bed . 2:30 AM : Throw everything except kitchen sink into pickup . 3:00 AM : Leave for deep woods . 3:15 AM : Drive back home to pick up gun . 3:30 AM : Drive like crazy to get to the woods before daylight . 4:00 AM : Set up camp . Forgot the stupid tent . 4:30 AM : Head for the woods . 6:05 AM : See eight deer . 6:06 AM : Take aim and squeeze trigger . 6:07 AM : CLICK . 6:08 AM : Load gun while watching deer go over hill . 8:00 AM : Head back to camp . 9:00 AM : Still looking for camp . 10:00 AM : Realize that you don ' t know where camp is .
Afternoon : Fire gun for help---eat wild berries . 2:15 PM : Run out of bullets---eight deer come back . 2:20 PM : Strange feeling in stomach . 2:30 PM : Realize that you ate poison berries . 2:45 PM : Rescued . 2:55 PM : Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped , throw up instead . 3:15 PM : Arrive back at camp . 3:30 PM : Leave camp to kill deer . 4:00 PM : Return to camp for bullets . 4:01 PM : Load gun---leave camp again .
Evening : 5:00 PM : Empty gun on bug that is bugging you . 6:00 PM : Arrive at camp -- see deer grazing . 6:01 PM : Load gun . 6:02 PM : Fire gun . 6:03 PM : One dead pickup . 6:05 PM : Hunting partners arrive in camp dragging deer . 6:06 PM : Repress desire to shoot hunting partners . 6:07 PM : Fall into fire . 6:10 PM : Change clothing , throw burned ones in fire . 6:15 PM : Take pickup , leave hunting partners and deer in camp . 6:25 PM : Pickup boils over due to hole shot in block . 6:26 PM : Start walking . 6:30 PM : Stumble and fall , drop gun in mud . 6:35 PM : Meet bear . 6:36 PM : Take aim . 6:37 PM : Fire gun , blow up barrel that ' s plugged with mud . 6:38 PM : Mess pants . 6:39 PM : Climb tree . 11:00 PM : Bear leaves . Wrap gun around tree .
Midnight : Home at last . Fall on knees thanking Maker .
Next day : Watch football game on TV , slowly tearing up hunting license into small pieces , place in envelope , and mail to Game Warden .
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