SEVEN THINGS MEN
NEVER SAY BY KYLE IDLEMAN
[Foreword for the upcoming book, Wise Guys by Kent Evans.
Available June 1, 2016.] by Kyle Idleman
I’ve been working on a list of
things that are hard for me to
say. Here’s what I’ve got so far:
Before I begin assembly, where
are those instructions?
I’ve had enough bacon.
Sorry honey, I’m too tired. I just
want to go to sleep.
Hey bro, you want to run to the
bathroom with me?
Does this make me look fat?
The winner, though, might be this four-word
golden great: “Will you help me?” I just tried to
say that and nothing came out but a cough.
Go ahead—try it yourself.
We guys are great at lots of stuff. I can throw
that list together for you, too (Making lists
actually is on that list!). But asking for help is
not one of our primary skills. Which explains
why we don’t like to ask for directions or read
the instructions. We’re convinced we can do
things ourselves. Doesn’t matter what kind of
skill we’re talking about; we’re on it, whether
it’s brain surgery or defusing a ticking bomb.
We want to be able to say, “Look! I operated on this brain all on my own, and I never
even went to med school!” Or, “Let’s hear it
for me—I just defused this b . . .” There may
be a few extra brain parts or bomb wires lying
around afterward, but what matters to us is
that we did it our way.
28 PAGE | ICONIC MAGAZINE
So we forge right into adulthood with our “I’ve
got this!” flags flying. Looming ahead of us
are marriage, fatherhood, career, and other
crazy adventures. There are guys all around
us who may not have read the directions at
first either, but at some point they wised up.
Some of them came from households with
truly loving parents and terrific dads, and they
have many of the answers we need.
We need to connect with those guys. We
need to scrap the old DIY mentality, because
being a husband, a father, a friend, and a devoted follower of Christ aren’t the same as
installing a new stereo system in your car.
Some of this stuff goes boom.
On the manhood journey, we need help and
we need each other, so you’ve come to the