One of the anti-perks (hence the absurdity begins) of
making the topics is that you cannot participate. Well, you
can get it published in the mag, though! Although one was
meant to choose only one starting line, ending line and
a photo, I kind of tried to incorporate all of them, out of
having nothing better to do in life. So hereis my entry. In-
tended for everyone on the edge of insanity and wanting
a little help to move beyond.
Don’t judge the story. The sole point was an absurdity, and
piecing together all the topics (bracketed numbers).
Meanwhile, in a parallel universe...
S
omewhere in one of the forlorn corners of the
multiverse, a young boy, seemingly of 10, starts
scribbling with crayons on his wall. The time had
come.[1] Had someone scanned the arrangement of
fibers in his iris, and appropriately read the encoding,
they’d found his diary entry, which goes thus:
If you’re reading this, I’m already dead, obvious-
ly, since I would not allow anyone to remove my iris
otherwise.[2] I’m a general in the army, with a body
age-12 and a mind age-250, in one of the universes we
today refer to as the KimJonUniverse[3]. The primary
aim of this note was to document the happenings of
our universe, with the hope of some positive interven-
tion from our brethren across the quantum wall. So
brace yourselves, for a major history lesson.
80
Several years ago, back when I was old[4], I read the
book “The history of Multiverse”, by Rahul Gandhi, the
foremost quantum physicist of my world, a book se-
cretly propagated among all the F.L.O.O.P.onians (Read
further). That shall be a good starting point. As it hap-
pens, from among the infinite possible Quantum states
that can be taken by the course of any particle at any
moment, each universe documents the course of only
one such state. Consequently, all universes are defined
by the most decisive such state assumed along history,
which made it significantly different from its parallel
congeners. We split off from the universe closest to
us, (which they call the DonaldTrumpiverse, because
that is when the entire downward spiral began) some-
where in September 2017, and instead of the North
Korean Dictator signaling the start of WW3 as he did
in the DTverse, he spoke the command out loud in
our universe, which lead to a delay of about 1.2
seconds in launching the nuclear strike, in which
time, a far-off star, Alpha B1C2 moved 4 inches
further, unopposed by the nuclear blast’s gravitation-
al waves. This movement made it visible from the
Hubble Telescope 13 years later, leading to the discov-
ery of, and the harnessing of, the dark energy. (Hence
the colloquial name of our universe, KimJonUniverse)
That also explains how we by far outdo our parent
universe in terms of science, dark energy being more
potent than the then-theoretical cold fusion. Soon af-
ter the discovery, we built better machines, the obvi-
ous course of action for an extraordinarily lazy species.
We were soon able to freeze aging and then reverse
it. There were some, who believed that the procedure
to reverse aging killed what you might call the con-
science, and the resultant human bore no resemblance
to anything human, but they were soon forced into
conformity (This paradigm was called the Fairly Lost
Old and Obsolete Paradigm- F.L.O.O.P. and it’s follow-
ers, the FLOOPonians). I remember when I underwent
de-humanisation (the doctor being a FLOOPonian).
“Now, prepare to die”, he said to me.[5] Next thing I
remember, he said, “the operation is successful. The pa-
tient is dead”.[6] It took some time getting used to the
electro-biological resin which now made the fabric of
my body. Every time I got hurt, I kept staring in amaze-
ment at the wires sticking out of my arm[7], and with
equal amazement at the resin automatically beaconing
the nearest clinic which, in turn, wirelessly transmitted
the repair codes. The people who designed the im-
mortalizing hardware had no anatomists working with
them, so the organization of wires and pistons made
much more sense than arteries and muscles did in the
original design. The names were simpler, forearm ar-
tery supplied the forearm; and no radioulnar crap. Skull
bones were evenly shaped, wi th no hidden crevasses
and cryptic sinuses. But I digress.
Next along the unstoppable
tumble of humankind came the
immortalization of animals. It
was soon that people ran out
of topics for Ph.D. theses and
started studying how to immor-
talize dogs. Some random chap
from some Indian Medical College,
bored of his usual medicine studies, em-
boldened under the pressure to decide his
future course of action, came up with a Sap-
io-canine linguistic transducer, effectively allow-
ing dogs to speak. While most people ex-