Huffington Magazine Issue 92-93 | Page 28

Voices media circus, and several weeks after one wisely timed repeat performance in a Wall Street Journal op-ed last month, Patton has returned with a full-length book version of her original advice, Marry Smart: Advice for Finding the One. The 11-month turnaround suggests a rush to capitalize on her brush with the limelight, and indeed the quality of the book does seem as slapdash as could be expected. Of course, we could have hoped that Patton’s opus, when it emerged, would be less repetitive, more polished, and less replete with awkward logical fallacies. My boyfriend, a state school grad, writes text messages more finely crafted and coherent than her latest admonition to seek out husbands with Ivy League degrees. But it’s not the clunky prose or the endless redundancies that doomed the book from the beginning, and even a fine-tuned version would have only succeeded in putting a prettier face on her flawed advice. The real problem was trying to turn one page of clichéd sexist tropes and ugly elitism disguised as advice into 200+ pages (238, if we’re counting) of constructive tips for young women today. I’m right in the target audience CLAIRE FALLON HUFFINGTON 03.16-23.14 for Susan Patton’s advice. I’m 25, an alumna of her cherished Princeton, and still not married. During my single years in New York City, I spent considerably more time working and considering my career options than dating or angling to meet new men. Patton clearly tries to preemptively extinguish criticism about the sexist roots of her advice by repeatedly assuring us that her advice is only for Women, do we really want to marry the kind of guys who will only commit to a woman so they can finally have sex with her?” women who want to have children and “something resembling a traditional marriage.” Well, I want both — surprise, I’ll admit that despite having been brainwashed by feminists! — so... did I find Marry Smart to be just the no-nonsense straight talk that I needed to achieve my true dreams of LeaveIt-to-Beaver-style domestic bliss? Well, if you define “straight talk” as “hideous sexist stereotypes that were outdated 20 years ago,” then sure. But I can’t