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CULTURE
HUFFINGTON
03.09.14
2. SHIA LEBEOUF
FROM LEFT: D DIPASUPIL/FILMMAGIC/GETTY IMAGES; MICHEL DUFOUR/WIREIMAGE/GETTY IMAGES
CAREER HIGHLIGHTS: Disturbing a jaded
reporter with a crying spell during his
ongoing bag hat stare show #IAMSORRY.
“The wet spot on his bag kept growing. I
couldn’t take it anymore,” wrote the only
witness in the room, a Defamer staffer.
LOWLIGHTS: Stealing this, this, this, and this,
as well as the concept for the above highlight.
RECEPTION: “Shia labeouf music video
meaning” is a suggested Google search term.
People are at the very least mildly curious about
the spirit of what he’s doing.
QUALIFIER: A follow-up reveals the search is
for a video he starred in, not the one he directed.
GOODWILL-OMETER: Shia LeBeouf is
drinking deep from the goodwill cup. It could
really go either way at this point.
3. KRISTEN STEWART
CAREER HIGHLIGHTS: Publishing the poem
My Heart Is A Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole in the
unpretentious pages of Marie Claire.
LOWLIGHTS: Doing interviews that by
Franco’s definition could be performance art,
but are definitely not.
RECEPTION: While amateurs called it the worst
poem of all time, poetry professors are down with
MHIAWF/FP. “I thought the second stanza was
very delicate with sound play,” wrote one.
GOODWILL-OMETER: The question may
be moot here. How much goodwill is Kristen
Stewart even coming in with? Girl’s got
nothing to lose. (Bless her.)