Huffington Magazine Issue 90 | Page 70

Exit mal meditation or mindfulness practice, mentally strong people tend to have a mindful, attentive way of engaging with the world. “You could call it being in the zone, you can call it whatever you want, but the idea is that if you’re focused exclusively on one thing in front of you, you’re not bringing baggage to that situation and you’re considering only the variables that matter,” says Holiday. BUT THEY KNOW WHEN IT’S TIME TO LET GO. Just as important as perseverance is the ability to recognize that you can control only your own actions — not the results of those actions. Accepting this fact allows us to resign to the things that are beyond our power. There’s an idea in Stoicism, Holiday explains, called the “art of acquiescence,” which is yielding to the things that you can’t change and making the best of them, rather than allowing them to upset or frustrate you. The mentally strong person lives by the Serenity Prayer — they change what they can control, accept what they can’t control, and know the difference between the two. THE THIRD METRIC HUFFINGTON 03.02.14 THEY LOVE THEIR LIVES. Amor fati is a Latin term that translates to “love of fate,” a concept derived from the ancient Greek and Roman Stoic philosophers that later reemerged in the work of Nietzsche. And it’s perhaps the single most important key to mental strength. Mentally strong people tend to be realistic optimists — they have the hopefulness of optimists and the clarity of pessimists.” “The idea is that you don’t just have to tolerate the things you can’t control — they could be the greatest things that ever happen to you,” says Holiday. “You can find the joy in not just accepting, but in embracing the things that happen to you.” Shortly before her death, Seattle-based author Jane Lotter left that advice with her family in a powerful self-written obituary. As Lotter put it, “May you always remember that obstacles in the path are not obstacles, they ARE the path.”