Huffington Magazine Issue 85 | Page 28

Voices

KATIE
HEANEY

HUFFINGTON
01.26.14

I’m in
My MidTwenties,
and I’ve Been
Single My
Entire Life
I WOULD LIKE to tell you about a
theory I’ve developed, in the past
two years or so, about a certain
brand of people I like to call “lighthouses.” This theory was developed
after years spent in the company
of one such member of the species,
carefully observed in her natural
habitat. She was the prototype, basically. Her name is Rylee, and she’s
my best friend. You might as well
know that now because she’s going
to come up a lot.
Rylee, since the time I met her
seven years ago, has dated nine

people. This is probably not remarkably high. It could even be
average. What do I know? It could
be that that number only seems
large in comparison to my own
figures, which are so low they’re
practically negative. But what’s
really crazy, what’s really impressive about it, is her lack of time off
between boyfriends. When she’s
single, Rylee hardly needs to leave

This piece is
excerpted from
the book Never
Have I Ever: My
Life (So Far)
Without a Date
by Katie Heaney.
Copyright
© 2014 by
Katie Heaney.
Reprinted by
permission of
Grand Central
Publishing. All
rights reserved.