HUFFINGTON
09.01-08.13
INVISIBLE CASUALTIES
Mike spent several days in a civilian mental health care hospital,
and doctors began trying different medications to calm him down
while also trying to keep him alert
enough to work. Nothing helped.
At one point months later, Mike
dug out a refrigerator magnet he’d
been given with the phone number
of Army OneSource, a portal for
medical, mental health and family
support resources. He dialed the
number and eventually was put in
touch with a civilian psychiatrist.
But he felt she had no experience
with the military or an understanding of military culture, and after a
while Mike stopped seeing her.
His first brush with suicide had
come earlier that year, in the spring
of 2005. Jackie discovered Mike had
lost his ability to manage money;
he’d been on thousand-dollar shopping sprees at Target, bringing home
“junk.” She took away his checkbook and credit cards. His angry
outbursts continued. He was back
with his National Guard company
once a month, but found he could
no longer lead his men. He’d stand
in front of them without being able
to think what to do or say.
“I didn’t own up to the fact that
“... there was no system
to help the macho
soldier who’s not going
to do anything unless
he’s bleeding out.”
something was wrong with me, and
ask ‘em to check me out and get
medicaled out,” he said, referring
to the process of getting a medical
separation from the Guard.
Ashamed, he resigned his commission, “the hardest thing I have
ever had to do.”
At work, he found his hands
trembled so hard it was dangerous for him to handle 14,000-volt
power lines. He was given other
duties. Once a happy, popular
and fast-moving lineman, now he
was a shadow of his former self.
He had disabling anxiety attacks.
“Where’s the old Mike?” his
bosses would ask him. “We want
the old Mike back!” Eventually he
was fired, ashamed and terrified
to tell Jackie he had failed again.
SCREW RESPECT
The McMichaels’ house in rural
Franklinville, along the banks
★