Huffington Magazine Issue 63 | Page 60

COURTESY OF JULIE DECKER W HEN JULIE DECKER was 19, a male friend tried to “fix” her by sexually assaulting her. “It had been a good night,” said Decker, now 35 and a prominent asexual activist and blogger. “I had spoken extensively about my asexuality, and I thought he was listening to me, but I later realized that he had just been letting me talk.” As she said goodbye to him that night, the man tried to kiss her. When she rejected his advance, he started to lick her face “like a dog,” she said. “‘I just want to help you,’ he called out to me as I walked away from his car,” she explained. “He was basically saying that I was somehow broken and that he could repair me with his tongue and, theoretically, with his penis. It was totally frustrating and quite scary.” Sexual harassment and violence, including so-called “corrective” rape, is disturbingly common in the ace community, says Decker, who has received death threats and has been told by several online commenters that she just needs a “good raping.” “When people hear that you’re asexual, some take that as a challenge,” said Decker, who is currently working on a book about asexuality. “We are perceived as “When people hear that you’re asexual, some take that as a challenge,” says activist and blogger Julie Decker, who fights against “corrective rape” for the asexual community.