A COMMUNITY IS BORN
nity online at the end of 2011 to
hearing a “chorus of angels.”
“There was so much relief,”
said Eric, who did not want his
full name revealed because he
fears discrimination from his
peers. “For me, sexual attraction
has simply never been there. I
see no reason nor have I desire to
have sex. And I say that having
been in four relationships — two
guys, two girls — having sex and
falling apart wondering what was
wrong with me.”
Discovering the word “asexuality” and the asexual community
was a lucky fluke for many aces.
For some, it was a friend in the
lesbian, gay, bisexua l and transgender community who offered the
term; while for others, it involved
a random search online for a word
that had long felt right, though
they couldn’t understand why.
From that initial discovery, it
was AVEN or, more recently, an
asexuality sub-section on Reddit
that opened their eyes to a whole
other world — and a growing ace
community that is now starting
to find its feet. Today, Jay says,
AVEN welcomes about 35 new
members daily.
“I had used the term ‘asexuality’ jokingly for years to describe
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myself,” said Micah R., a 26-yearold transgender blogger and advocate for Gender and Sexual
Minorities, who also identifies as
asexual. “But one day when I was
18, I decided by chance to Google
it, and I found AVEN. It was like,
‘This is me. Oh my god, I’m not
the only one.’ I never questioned
my sexuality again. It was the answer I had been looking for.”
As the asexual community continues to forge a shared identity,
Jay says he’s hopeful that future
“We know that asexual people
have been looking for each
other for a long time, but it
wasn’t until the Internet that
we found each other.”
generations will not have to wander
blindly and unaided through the
murky realm of (a)sexual discovery.
“The community has really
grown around this experience of
realizing that you’re not alone,”
he said. “It seems like things are
moving forward much more quickly than in the past. I’m very hopeful that we’ll soon get to a place
where a majority of people know
about asexuality, and aces
can grow in it together.”