Huffington Magazine Issue 63 | Page 42

A COMMUNITY IS BORN nity online at the end of 2011 to hearing a “chorus of angels.” “There was so much relief,” said Eric, who did not want his full name revealed because he fears discrimination from his peers. “For me, sexual attraction has simply never been there. I see no reason nor have I desire to have sex. And I say that having been in four relationships — two guys, two girls — having sex and falling apart wondering what was wrong with me.” Discovering the word “asexuality” and the asexual community was a lucky fluke for many aces. For some, it was a friend in the lesbian, gay, bisexua l and transgender community who offered the term; while for others, it involved a random search online for a word that had long felt right, though they couldn’t understand why. From that initial discovery, it was AVEN or, more recently, an asexuality sub-section on Reddit that opened their eyes to a whole other world — and a growing ace community that is now starting to find its feet. Today, Jay says, AVEN welcomes about 35 new members daily. “I had used the term ‘asexuality’ jokingly for years to describe HUFFINGTON 08.25.13 myself,” said Micah R., a 26-yearold transgender blogger and advocate for Gender and Sexual Minorities, who also identifies as asexual. “But one day when I was 18, I decided by chance to Google it, and I found AVEN. It was like, ‘This is me. Oh my god, I’m not the only one.’ I never questioned my sexuality again. It was the answer I had been looking for.” As the asexual community continues to forge a shared identity, Jay says he’s hopeful that future “We know that asexual people have been looking for each other for a long time, but it wasn’t until the Internet that we found each other.” generations will not have to wander blindly and unaided through the murky realm of (a)sexual discovery. “The community has really grown around this experience of realizing that you’re not alone,” he said. “It seems like things are moving forward much more quickly than in the past. I’m very hopeful that we’ll soon get to a place where a majority of people know about asexuality, and aces can grow in it together.”