THE THIRD METRIC
“Having both of us at home let us
work through thoughts and feelings as they came up. My employer
was tremendously supportive and
understanding, and having the flexibility in my schedule that they’ve
given me made it easier to schedule
things like doctors appointments,
counselor visits and whatever else
we needed to do to heal,” she said.
Sarah and Jeff are trying to get
HUFFINGTON
08.18.13
dealing with stressful jobs alongside the stress of raising a child.
I think that that’s going to be a
positive thing.”
Remarkably, Sarah isn’t concerned about money, even though
having a child will mean many additional expenses. Her field pays
well, she said, and “because our
focus isn’t on the accumulation of
wealth or things, we don’t worry.
“We aren’t dealing with stressful jobs
alongside the stress of raising a child. I think
that that’s going to be a positive thing.”
pregnant again. Until they have
kids, Jeff has gone back to work
part-time in a hotel in guest services, a much healthier and lowerstress work environment than a
bar. Sarah is still working remotely
in the same job. Sarah says, they
are working “with that same conscious attention to [the question],
‘Are these jobs giving us the freedom that we wanted originally?’”
Are they worried about the
stress parenthood will likely bring
or the toll it could exact on their
marriage? “Yeah, for sure,” Sarah
said. “Not that that would ever
deter us,” she added. “We aren’t
We don’t live in a huge house, we
aren’t taking expensive vacations,
our car isn’t new. We’ve deliberately chosen to simplify our lives.”
Distilling out what wasn’t important has in turn strengthened
their marriage. “To not bring home
a ton of stress has been wonderful
in terms of our ability to communicate, our sex life, all of it. When
you’re not carrying around a bunch
of frustration, that automatically
puts you in a better mood and carries over into the relationship that
you have with your partner,” said
Sarah. “We’re a lot closer
as a result.”
Margaret Wheeler Johnson is a senior
lifestyle editor of The Huffington Post.