HUFFINGTON
07.14.13
STRAIGHT TALK
OVER THE NEXT TWO DAYS, THE 40 OR
SO ATTENDEES ENGAGED IN WHAT’S
SOMETIMES CALLED “TOUCH THERAPY,”
CUDDLING IN THE DARK WHILE “TRYING
TO EXPERIENCE THE FATHERLY LOVE YOU
NEVER GOT FROM YOUR FATHER.”
reparative therapy another try.
His new conversion therapist, a
Mormon (and self-described “exgay”) in the L.A. area, suggested
they attend a weekend retreat
called “Journey Into Manhood.” On
its website, Journey Into Manhood
is described as a “48-hour immersion in intensive emotional-healing work, designed specifically for
men who are self-motivated and
serious about resolving unwanted
homosexual attractions.” A survey
on JIM’s website declares that 79
percent of participants reported a
decrease “in the frequency or intensity” of their same-sex attractions after attending the retreat.
As Mathew arrived at the site
of the retreat, in the woods of
Charlottesville, Va., hooded men
carrying staffs led him and the
other participants into a darkened
room. Native American flute music played in the background. The
room was hazy with incense. The
group leaders reenacted the plot
of Jack and the Beanstalk. In their
reading, Jack’s quest to conquer
the giant and marry the princess
was a metaphor for the process
of defeating one’s same-sex attractions. Over the next two days,
the 40 or so attendees engaged in
what’s sometimes called “touch
therapy,” cuddling in the dark
while “trying to experience the
fatherly love you never got from
your father,” Mathew said.
At other times, they would act
out traumatic moments of their
youth, searching for the one defining experience that made them
want men. Mathew chose two
scenes from his childhood, both
involving his father. The experience disturbed him. On the first
night, he found himself thinking
about Jacob and broke down crying.