Huffington Magazine Issue 38 | Page 42

COURTESY OF ALISON KIRK FAMILY UNDERTAKING HUFFINGTON 03.03.13 loved ones when they died. His dad died in 2008 of multiple myeloma, a cancer of the plasma cells, and, 13 years before that, his mother died of an aortic dissection. New York is one of the few states that requires a funeral director to be present or to sign off on nearly every part of after-death care. Medical examiners and coroners have to turn over bodies to funeral directors, and the law says an undertaker has to personally oversee each funeral. (The other Caroline’s states with similarly restrictive parents commlaws are Connecticut, Illinois, issioned a Indiana, Louisiana, Michigan, gravestone based on Nebraska and New Jersey). her dancing For his father, Bentley says the glass figurine. process was unnecessarily intrusive. He wanted a cremation, which would usually require a death certificate, transport of the body and a cremation fee in most one’s spouse and children.” states, but he had to meet with Because his mother was airhis hospice nurse, the town clerk lifted to a hospital in Vermont to and the local funeral director to have her heart condition treated, arrange all the paperwork necessary. The Bentley says he had a much easier time total cost: $940. He reluctantly obliged. with her. She died in the hospital, and “One doesn’t wish to think about he was able to take her body — stored in things like cost and comparison shopa box — from the morgue to his car. He ping at the time of a loved one’s death,” drove her to a chapel for a prearranged says Bentley. “At the same time, I do not viewing, then to a crematorium near believe, and my father before his passthe Vermont-New York border (it would ing did not believe, that some stranger have been illegal to transport the body in should be entitled to walk off with a New York state). He returned home for a week’s wages or more in return for a few memorial at his house with her ashes. It hours of work at the expense of the loved all happened within a day.