SHUTTERSTOCK
Voices
working as a physicist in a top research lab, holding her own among
scores of men. Fran remembered a
childhood spent camping, sailing,
working on the car, and learning
how to use power tools with her
father. “And when we would play
games—Monopoly or anything like
that—he would never let us win,
my brother or me,” she told me.
“I remember beating my dad at
checkers for the first time at age
seven, and I was very satisfied.”
When every kid gets a medal,
however, no matter how well she
plays or how poorly the team
does—and this is the norm in
many communities—we send a
dangerous message. We may think
that rewarding every child will
make them feel good—and it may,
PEGGY
DREXLER
for a moment. But it may also
make them feel that they are entitled to praise and recognition for
merely existing. And that does no
one any favors.
The truth is that in real life you
don’t get rewarded for showing
up. The real lesson we should be
teaching kids is that the rewards
come when you work hard and
accomplish something. And the
rewards might not always come—
that’s an important lesson, too.
Fran’s father’s belief in his
daughter’s intelligence fueled her
urge to compete and emerge triumphant. When she finally beat him
at checkers, she knew the win was
real. She had played better than
he had, end of story. In that way,
at the early age of seven, Fran was
primed to trust her competence
and own her success. And
that is a real victory.
HUFFINGTON
06.24.12
Sports
seasons often
end in awards
ceremonies
that honor
each child.