Huffington Magazine Issue 19 | Page 104

Exit THE GILDED AGE BY GREGORY BEYER HUFFINGTON 10.21.12 How to Insult a Banker A “THIRD AVENUE GUY” is someone on Wall Street who is not smart enough to work for a company with offices in a more upscale neighborhood, while a “DUFFEL BAG” is a person on Wall Street who is never going to move beyond carrying someone else’s bag.* *FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES A “JIMINY CRICKET” is someone on Wall Street who is diminuitive and driven by a sense of conscience. A “SANTA” is someone on Wall Street who actually has to buy Christmas presents for his own kids. A “COATTAIL” is someone on Wall Street who only got hired because he knew someone already at the firm. A “STEAMER” is someone on Wall Street who gets fired for ironing the boss’s pants while the boss is wearing the pants. ILLUSTRATIONS BY CHRISTOPH HITZ A “CRUDE, ILL-NOURISHED FRENCH REVOLUTION-ERA PEASANT” is someone on Wall Street who makes less than $500,000 a year. A “BUMBLE BEE” is someone on Wall Street who sells a toxic mortgage to an unsuspecting client and then immediately dies. A “DUST BOWL-ERA SOD HOUSE RESIDENT” is someone on Wall Street who lives in a building without a doorman.