Huffington Magazine Issue 17 | Page 59

HUFFINGTON 10.07.12 COMING HOME and killed. Beavers was on call 24/7. “When the bell rang, we had 45 minutes to dress, load up the truck and get a security briefing,” he said. He’d lie half-awake sweating on his cot, knowing when the bell rang he’d be heading out again where insurgents would try to kill him. “Every time the bell rang I thought, ‘I could die,”’ he said. After one powerful IED blast wrecked his truck and left him unconscious, he woke up in the base hospital where he says he was prescribed various pain and anti-anxiety medication, including morphine, oxycodone, Roxicet, dilaudid and Xanax, to get him back on duty and keep him there. Not for another year would the military begin routinely sidelining soldiers exposed to blast. After his 12-month deployment was over, he was transferred to the 25th Infantry Division in Hawaii, and four months after he got home from Iraq he deployed again. This time he was in combat for 15 months. He returned with the shakes, hearing problems and raging nightmares about the things that he saw and did, “things that were inhumane that still stick with me to this day and I’m trying to get through that. “I’d wake up in the middle of the night and hear the bell going off, or I’d be yelling ‘Kill him!’ and seeing snipers at the window,” he said. “My wife was scared of who I was.” After Army doctors in Hawaii cut him off from prescription drugs, Beavers started buying illicit medication to try to calm things down. He was never tested for or diagnosed with Traumatic Brain Injury, so he was never offered therapy or any other treatment. Three weeks before he was due for another Iraq tour, Beavers was discharged from the Army after having tested positive for drugs. Back home in Philadelphia, he stumbled into the VA medical center and asked for help. He got it: he was diagnosed with Traumatic Brain Injury and PTSD; counselors helped him win a 100 percent disability from the VA and he began counseling sessions for his PTSD. But like many other veterans, he found the VA itself was overwhelmed. “I was being seen four times a week, then three, then two, then once every two weeks, and then once a month, because they had such a caseload,” he said. “I felt like I got thrown to the back of the bus, and that kind of threw me into a bad depression. I didn’t