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How do you describe the spiritual significance of marriage? The spiritual
union between people is a great
learning laboratory for understanding the relationship between God and a person. When
you make a place in your heart
for someone and you pledge to
love him or her in a way that, on
good days, exceeds your love for
yourself, then it is a window into
the way God loves us. As John
said in the Gospel: “Where love is
there God is also. When two people are in love, we are participating in the reality of God.”
You are one of the few people out
there who has been in both a heterosexual and homosexual marriage. How
are they different? Fundamentally
there is no difference in what
two people entering into a marriage are seeking and working
for—either gay or straight. But it
happens to be a fact that heterosexual marriage has an historical
overlay of sexism and that the
man is head of the household.
That is the default position inherited over hundreds of years
that women are the property of
men. In modern times we have
tried to remove the sexist connotations but that’s the default
Q&A
HUFFINGTON
10.07.12
position. Gay marriage is threatening because having two people
of the same gender is antithetical
to a sexist understanding of marriage. So, my real feeling is this
whole debate is about the beginning of the end of patriarchy.
What are the main obstacles to getting full marriage equality? Number
1 is religion. It is fair to say that
90 to 95 percent of all oppres-
Even if the church
often answers the question
of ‘are you loved or lovable’
wrong, God never does.”
sion we have experienced as gay
people has come through the
hands of religious people, and it
is going to take religious people
to undo that. That’s what I am
devoting my life to. Long after we have the legal remedies,
there will still be hearts and
minds to change.
The Anglican Communion is having
trouble choosing a new leader. Do you
think the church will splinter? It was
supposed to splinter the day I