Huffington Magazine Issue 11 | Page 32

Voices me to regain the pride I had lost: the joy of knowing I was unique? There was. I’d track down the other Peter Mandels and see whether we could hammer out some sort of compromise—say, dismantling their Web pages or, if they preferred, beginning the process of changing their name. Sleuthing out the phone numbers of a half-dozen or so Peter Mandels was easy; getting my calls returned wasn’t. After weeks of dialing, I finally got an actual Peter Mandel on the line, one who owns a California radonmitigation company. “Hello,” I began, clearing my throat. “I am concerned about the dilution of the Peter Mandel name.” There was a sound that was either a cough or a snort. Hadn’t he Googled himself? Wasn’t he aware of all the other Peter Mandels? “I’m aware,” he said. Didn’t we make him jealous? Angry? Another snort-cough. “The way I come up on Google or you come up on Google is fine,” he explained. “My clients come to me, since I handle some very hazardous materials.” I next reached a New Jersey PETER MANDEL HUFFINGTON 08.26.12 gynecologist. An occasional autoGoogler, Dr. Mandel knew perfectly well that he was sharing search engine space with us and was fine with it. “How would you feel,” I asked, “if you disappeared from Google results? Maybe took a break from that?” There was a moment of silence. “I would not be happy about it,” Was there a way, I wondered, for me to regain the pride I had lost: the joy of knowing I was unique?” he replied. This was the point where I should have offered Dr. Mandel a payment. Or made a tearful plea. But I realized I couldn’t do it and actually didn’t need to. I mean, sure, there was the radon Peter Mandel, the gynecologist, the German guy—but I’m the only writer of children’s books in the bunch. And what do you think those pretenders know about sneezing leopards? Jackhammer-cracks in city sidewalks? Burger-loving dogs? You can Google it, but I’d bet nothing. Maybe, just possibly, I am special, after all.