How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 75

ME: (reality check) I haven’t heard you talk about the behaviors that
support the change.
The coachee is well-meaning, but they continue to avoid looking at the
real picture. They stay in that state of denial, pretending they know
what they need to do to improve their lives, when in essence their
situation continues to have major problems because they don’t have a
specific action plan that they are implementing or because they aren’t
seeing the situation for what it is.
I believe you will get healthier faster if you move out of the state of
denial and see the total picture. When a coachee says to me, “I have
been working on my spending” I do a reality check… “How much less
are you spending?” They typically answer, “Well, I don’t know the exact
numbers.” By not knowing the exact numbers they don’t have to change
their behavior drastically.
It’s a very scary thing to alter your life to support the goals you really
want. It takes a lot of courage and self-determination to stop enabling
others or yourself. It almost always means that you will have to let go of
some familiar behavior that has not been working for you. If you want
to save money, you can’t buy that new dress or that new technological
toy. If you want to lose weight, you won’t be able to have that second
helping. If you want to be less affected by your spouse, you will need to
walk away from them temporarily and create your own life.
Are you in denial about something important? To live the life you were
meant to live, you must give 100% to it.

Source:
http://www.carolthecoach.com/articles/relationships/realitycheck.ht
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