How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 58

Guidelines for Giving Feedback
Giving feedback is a delicate communication, because there
is always the risk of people interpreting feedback as a
personal critic directed against whom and how they are,
instead of taking it as useful information on something they
did.
The best way to give feedback is to avoid “you-statements”
and use “I-statements” instead:
1.
2.
3.
4.

Give a specific description of the concrete behavior
Tell how it made you feel
Explain why (because…)
Describe the desired consequence

1. Be specific and support general statements with
specific examples.
The receiver of feedback for both positive and negative
behavior will be better able to act on statements that are
precise and concise. Example: “During this month you have
improved a lot.” This may be satisfying for both parties but
it’s not as effective as saying, “Your reports were on time and
better proofread.”
2. Describe the facts and do not judge.
Describing the facts helps the receiver to understand the
meaning and the importance of the feedback. It tends to
focus the discussion on behavior and not on personal
characteristics. Example: “Did you prepare for your meeting
with the grantee? For me it looked like you did not. It was
not organized.” This type of statement can bring anger,
return accusations, or passive–aggressive behavior in the

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