How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 345
other person will continue to be nice to you - Fig. 1: Trust pyramid winwin!
Working at it also means having fun. We all need routine, but if you can
predict what you will be doing every night of the week for the next
month and the next year, then things could go horribly wrong. Have too
much routine and, although it can be pleasant at times knowing what
you are going to do, the rest of the time it can become dull and boring.
Try to plan to do something different and take turns to choose an
activity. Relationships don't just coast along happily ever after; they
require effort and commitment to make them work.
And, finally, one of the biggest challenges for many people is learning to
love and respect themselves. Coaches use every opportunity to
reinforce the positive qualities and skills of the coachee through
feedback and interactions. Many people concentrate on asking why
rather than how. Focusing on how helps people to concentrate on
improvement, whereas why questions keep the individual in the
problem and are more likely to confirm the feelings of low self-esteem.
Get them to focus on their strengths, keep logs of their achievements,
and celebrate what they are good at.
Learning to love yourself - or at least like yourself
In any relationship it is important to recognise what you have to offer,
your good points, what makes you, you. Consider this. You're in a shop
and admiring a new suit you think you'll buy, when a sales assistant
comes over. 'This is great,' you say, 'just what I have been looking for.'
'Do you really think so?' they reply, 'Actually it is not very well made,
the seams are not stitched properly and I think it is over-priced.' Rather
than responding by buying it, you are more likely to walk away. It is the
same in a relationship, if you don't think you have something to offer,
how are you going to convince someone else?
So why are relationships so important in achieving success? Many
people give priority to values that reflect only one area of their life work. Goals can be achieved, but some people then find that their life
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