How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching

3.33 PAYING FULL ATTENTION Don’t do any analysis during an interview, don’t think about what you will answer. And certainly do not think about things that have nothing to do with the coachee’s story. If you are completely focused on someone, that person will feel it. and this will make them feel comfortable opening up, so you can get those underlying explanations. When you are fully concentrated on the coachee and what they are saying, you are making it easier for them to tell their story, Having the undivided attention of someone feels good. Attention like this is probably why we remember certain experiences in a brighter light. Feeling understood or dismissed makes a huge difference in an interaction with another person. Paying full attention to someone makes them feel good. In my experience, people will respond to me with more and more detail when they realize I am only thinking about them. They are willing to unfold their thought processes to me; some people even express revelations in the process of explaining themselves. Nearly everyone ends the session thanking me for such a good discussion. I love doing this. I have developed a practice of getting people to tell me stories at gatherings that have nothing to do with work, like at a food court in a mall. I’ll be standing next to someone in line, for instance, and make some comment about the circumstances or about what they are wearing or carrying. I’ll listen and ask for more detail. I’ll find out why they reacted some way or why they made some decision. Within a few minutes a complete stranger will feel comfortable enough to explain a story to me. We are, of course, in the relative safety of a gathering, which helps. But the fact that I am concentrating on their answers, rather than trying to make a point of my own or trying to count out money for my lunch bill, makes that person feel a little cherished. I practice this in unofficial settings so that I’ll be skillful when interviewing people for generative research. 653

How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Seite 336