How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 298

myths Hoover and DiSilvestro explode in their new book, The Art of
Constructive Confrontation: How to Increase Accountability and
Decrease Conflict (John Wiley and Sons 2005).
According to DiSilvestro and Hoover, most supervisors, managers, and
executives have been instructed or taught by example that chewing out
a subordinate after a missed deadline or failed project is an act of
courage. The authors say not. “Chewing people out is an act of
cowardice,” DiSilvestro explains. “It means that the supervisor,
manager, or executive is afraid to accept responsibility for not
effectively confronting issues and team members early and often
enough to have positively affected the outcome.”
“People might comply with policy and/or step up production for fear of
their livelihoods,” adds Hoover. “But the increases will be temporary
and the cost and consequences of forcing compliance with threats and
intimidation increase with each negative experience.”
Although using confrontation as a constructive building block in
workplace accountability and performance doesn’t require the courage
of a lion, holding people accountable for what they are paid to do and
decreasing conflict in the process does require the resolve to faithfully
follow a specific procedure such as the “circle of confrontation” the
authors outline in their book. “Acts that appear to be courageous might
be theatrical,” says Hoover, “and may appear to save the day in
dramatic moments. But, the success of an enterprise and the internal
and external people the enterprise serves is measured in performance
over time. For that, consistent process trumps drama.”
In addition to resolve, the consistent process that is constructive
confrontation also requires surrender to systematic behaviors that
bring about successful outcomes. It’s not about beating direct reports
into submission to the leader’s will, regardless of how vaguely he or she
expresses his or her will. It’s about securing commitment to the entire
circle of confrontation.

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