How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 210

"If you woke up tomorrow, and a miracle happened so that you no
longer easily lost your temper, what would you see differently?" What
would the first signs be that the miracle occurred?"
The client (a child) may respond by saying,
"I would not get upset when somebody calls me names."
The counselor wants the client to develop positive goals, or what they
will do, rather than what they will not do--to better ensure success. So,
the counselor may ask the client, "What will you be doing instead when
someone calls you names?"
Four Questions:
1. When would a clinician use the Miracle Question?
The Miracle Question is a goal setting question that is useful when a
client simply does not know what a preferred future would look like. It
can be used with individuals to set the course for therapy, with couples,
to clarify what each person needs from each other and with families,
who too often see one person as the culprit. By using the Miracle
Question and asking each person what a better life would look like, the
system sees perhaps for the first time, what others need from each
other.
2. What does it look like?
"Suppose tonight, while you slept, a miracle occurred. When you awake
tomorrow, what would be some of the things you would notice that
would tell you life had suddenly gotten better?"
The therapist stays with the question even if the client describes an
"impossible" solution, such as a deceased person being alive, and
acknowledges that wish and then asks "how would that make a
difference in your life?" Then as the client describes that he/she might
feel as if they have their companion back, again, the therapist asks "how
would that make a difference?" With that, the client may say, "I would
have someone to confide in and support me." From there, the therapist
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