How to Coach Yourself and Others Popular Models for Coaching | Page 288

help in the first place. A forced meeting with the student who
bullied can be an overwhelming experience for a targeted
student. Also, a targeted student may deny that there is a
problem if questioned in the presence of a bullying student.
Coaching the student who was bullied
For many reasons, students rarely report the bullying they
experience to adults. They may be afraid of retaliation, they may
think the bullying is their fault, they may feel ashamed, or they
may believe that adults are unable or unlikely to stop the
harassment. Combat students’ feelings of helplessness and
reluctance to report by following a five-step process.
Step 1:
Affirm the student’s feelings.
Say: “You were right to report/get help from an adult.”
Step 2:
Ask questions.
Get information about the current situation and the history of
the situation.
Step 3:
Identify what has and has not worked in the past.
Step 4:
Generate solutions for the future.
• Discuss how the student can avoid the person who has bullied
him or her. (Examples: The student could take a new route to
classes, sit closer to the bus driver, or stay close to a friend or
group of friends.)
• Create a plan with the student.
• Coach the student in using assertiveness skills. (If relevant to
the situation, remind the student that aggression is never an
appropriate solution.)
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