How to Coach Yourself and Others Popular Models for Coaching | Page 179
Skills in Stage 1a:- active listening - checking understanding
- open questions - summarising - silence – focusing –
empathy - paraphrasing & reflecting meaning - paraphrasing
& reflecting feeling – structuring – understanding skills
Useful Questions: How do/did you feel about that? - What
are/were you thinking? - What is/was that like for you? Keep them open! - What else is there about that?
1b - a challenging part
Since they are in the situation, it can be difficult for the person
speaking to see it clearly, or from different angles. With the help
of empathic reflections and challenges, the speaker uncovers
blind spots or gaps in their perceptions and assessment of the
situation, of others and of themselves - their patterns, the
impact of their behaviour on the situation, their strengths. "I'd
never thought about how it might feel from my colleague's point
of view."
Skills: Recognising and challenging; different perspectives,
patterns, themes and connections, shoulds and oughts,
negative self-talk, blind spots (discrepancies, distortions,
incomplete awareness, things implied, what's not said),
ownership, specifics, strengths. alternate frames of
reference - self-disclosure – immediacy – challenging timing & pacing - advanced empathy - acting Skills
Useful Questions: How do others see it/you? - Is there
anything you've overlooked? - What does he/she
think/feel? - What would s/he say about all this? - What
about all of this is a problem for you? - Any other way of
looking at it?
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