How to Coach Yourself and Others Popular Models for Coaching | Page 168

2. Working with Others
Unlike working on yourself, in relating to other people it is
important to work with, not against, their Enneagram type. The
aim is to recognise and respect - even celebrate - the differences
between their ways of being, thinking and feeling and your own.
If you can do this, it will not only make them feel valued and
understood, it will make the relationship easier, more fulfilling
and (in a work context) more productive for all concerned.
3. At Work
Supposing you are a Two (Helper) with responsibility for
managing an Eight (Leader) and a Four (Romantic). As you
yourself are typically eager to help others, it would be easy for
you to fall into the trap of assuming others have the same
motivation. So when allocating a task to one of your staff, it
might seem natural to tell them how helpful it will be if they
complete it quickly, and how much they will be appreciated by
others. Unfortunately ‘appreciation’ is not a key motivator for
either Eights or Fours, so you could well become frustrated by
their apparent lack of enthusiasm for the task. Yet the real
problem is that you have not spoken to each of them ‘in their
own language’ and you have failed to appeal to their core values
- power and justice (Eight) or authenticity and originality
(Four).
So supposing you were to approach the Eight slightly differently
- instead of talking about helpfulness and appreciation, tell her
that you have selected her for the task as it is a tough
assignment and will require strength of character to overcome
entrenched opposition. Emphasise the essential justness of the
outcome and that success will represent a victory for right over
wrong; the Eight will feel valued for her strength and eager to
exercise it in the service of a just cause. (If this seems slightly
melodramatic and overly ‘confrontational’, remember that is
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