How to Coach Yourself and Others Popular Models for Coaching | Page 158

For example: Sam is a 25-year-old professional, who has recently been promoted to a business development position within her organisation. As part of this new role, Sam will be required to provide product information to a large number of potential customers in a conference style presentation. Sam considers herself to be ‘nervous by nature’ and is worried that she may find this aspect of the role intimidating. Sam and her coach have named her nervousness, the intimidator. Externalising the Interview Externalising questions and statements involve referring to the problem as being external to the person. For example, “you are shy” compared to a narrative approach of “when did shyness get a hold of you?” Other examples of making externalising questions include:  How does the (problem) interfere in your life?  How does the (problem) manage to take control of you?  When does the (problem) usually strike?  Have you noticed in anything makes the (problem) stronger?  How is the (problem) hold you back? Here’s an example from an interview with Sam (playing the role of the intimidator): Coach – Intimidator, when did you first start spending time with Sam? -- Sam – (As the intimidator) Gee, I started hanging out with Sam when she was young about 4, maybe 5 years old. Coach – Wow, you’ve been in Sam’s life for a long time. What has made you stay so long? 160