How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Page 9

Core elements of personal influence
Personal influence involves three core elements: “I”, “You” and “We”.
Each element reflects on attitude. When you adopt these attitudes, you tend to act in a
way that contributes to effective personal influence.
“I”
This element reflects the attitude: “I am a trustworthy ally”.
It involves taking actions that demonstrate your personal reliability, competence and
commitment.
People learn about you from what you say and how you act. They determine whether
you are trustworthy based on your actions and will notice quickly if your actions do not
correspond with your words.
Examples of actions that can destroy your credibility include: criticizing people behind
their back, passing the buck and repeating confidential information to others.
“You”
This element reflects the attitude: “You are a valuable resource”.
It involves showing the other person that you value a working relationship with them.
Examples include asking for their opinions and ideas and showing appreciation for their
contributions.
“We”
This element reflects the attitude: “We can accomplish this together”.
The “I” and “You” elements together allow you to build an influence relationship. After
you’ve done that, you can use the relationship to work together to solve problems and
accomplish your goals.

2. Why Influence Matters
Influencing others is a vitally important and relevant skill for our times. This is
because...
· people are less inclined than in the past to accept naked shows of organisati