How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Page 14

15. Meeting Their Needs
We all rely on others to satisfy our needs, whether they are basic physical needs, social
needs, needs of recognition or love and emotional needs.
If you can put your finger on what others' psychological needs are, you can help them
meet those needs, and thereby influence their thinking and feeling. This is the basis of
traditional approaches to motivation at work in which we supply money, security,
recognition and so on to meet people's needs.
It is important to recognise that meeting others' needs can work benevolently or
malevolently. Malevolent influence - in which you influence others manipulatively,
against their own interests or to immoral and illegal ends - does not form any part of
honest ways of managing others.

16. Different Needs
You can influence others by finding out how people see things and what they need from
any situation.
1. If you know someone likes to be needed, (guardian), say
"Can you help me with this, Elaine...?"
2. If you know someone likes to be liked, (guardian, idealist), say
"You were great with those customers, Mark. I have a similar problem I'd like your
help on..."
3. If you know someone likes to feel special, (idealist), say
"You usually have an interesting angle, Ali. What do you think about this...?"
4. If you know someone likes to think things out, (rationalist), say
"I don't understand what that means. What do you think, Maureen?"
5. If you know someone likes to be certain of things, (guardian), say
"How can we make sure of this, Sheila?"
6. If you know someone likes to be doing things rather than discussing them, (artisan),
say "What do we need to do?"
Basically, what most people want to know is:
- Do you care for me?
- Can you help me?
- Can I trust you?
Often it will be a good idea to begin asking: How can I help? What can I do for you?
Or to show admiration by asking for a favour.