How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Page 126

Step Three
In the third column, write down any factual evidence that suggests your circled thought
is not 100% true. To do this, you can ask yourself the following questions:
- Have I had any experiences that show that this thought is not completely true all the
time?
- If my best friend or someone I loved had this thought, what would I tell them?
- If my best friend or someone who loves me knew I was thinking this thought, what
would they say to me? What evidence would they point out to me that would suggest
that my thoughts were not 100% true?
- When I am not feeling this way, do I think about this type of situation any differently?
How?
- When I have felt this way in the past, what did I think about that helped me feel
better?
- Have I been in this type of situation before? What happened? Is there anything
different between this situation and previous ones? What have I learned from prior
experiences that could help me now?
- Are there any small things that contradict my thoughts that I might be discounting as
not important?
- Five years from now, if I look back at this situation, will I look at it any differently?
Will I focus on any different part of my experience?
- Are there any strengths or positives in me or the situation that I am ignoring?
- Am I jumping to any conclusions that are not completely justified by the evidence?
- Am I blaming myself for something over which I do not have complete control?
Step Four
In the final column, try to come up with some “alternative” or “balanced” thoughts that
are more factually accurate than those in the first column. These should take into
account all the evidence you’ve just gathered. You can ask yourself the following
questions:
- Based on the evidence I have listed, is there an alternative way of thinking about or
understanding the situation?
- Write one sentence that summarizes all the evidence that supports my thought and
all the evidence that does not support my thought.
- Does combining the two summary statements with the word “and” create a balanced
thought that takes into account all the information I have gathered?
- If someone I cared about was in this situation, had these thoughts, and had this
information available, what would be my advice to them? How would I suggest that
they understand the situation?
- If my thought is true, what is the worst outcome? If my thought is true, what is the
best outcome? If my thought is true, what is the most realistic outcome?
- Can someone I trust think of any other way of understanding this situation?
Resources
“Overcoming Weight Problems” by Gauntlett-Gilbert and Grace
“Mind Over Mood” by Greenberger and Padesky
“Anxiety and Phobia Workbook” by Edmond J Bourne