How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Page 12

9. Matching Techniques
Matching is a powerful rapport-building technique. It is based on the principle that when
others are like us, we like them more, find them less threatening and are prepared to
trust them enough to be influenced by them.
Matching is related to mimicking and mirroring but is distinctly different. Mimicking
copies another person's gestures and expressions without any attempt to empathise with
them. Similarly, mirroring is an artificial and obvious form of copying someone else.
Matching, on the other hand, seeks to get inside the way another person feels and
thinks. It is a genuine attempt to understand their frame of reference. So, if they see
things in a short-term frame of reference, matching attempts to see things the same
way. Matching can extend to ideas, moods, values and even belief systems.

10. Key Elements in Successful Influencing
There are four key elements involved in successful influencing:
1. Set Clear Goals
2. Build Rapport :

- be empathic (know what’s going on inside of others)
- put yourself in their place
- match movements, moods, values and thoughts

3. Be confident
4. Choose a strategy :

- tell others what to do
- set example
- influence others by the use of interpersonal skills

11. Factors in Influencing
There are seven different factors involved in influencing others. While you may be
successful with only one or two of these factors present, the chances are greater when
all these factors are present.
1. Where you start from. If the other person is diametrically opposed to your point of
view, influencing them to change their view will be very difficult.
2. their intelligence level
3. whether the changes you propose meet the other person's needs
4. your credibility
5. your arguments
6. whether you create the right conditions to encourage others to be influenced
7. how authoritative you are.