How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Page 103

9. Emotional Intelligence
1. What is Emotional Intelligence?
The concepts of Emotional Intelligence are not new, with research going back to the
early part of the 20th century. The term “Emotional Intelligence” was introduced by
Salovey and Mayer in 1990. But it was Daniel Goleman, a Harvard-trained psychologist
and writer who really brought EQ into the mainstream. He wrote about EQ in The New
York Times and his 1995 book Emotional Intelligence. But it was his 1998 article in
Harvard Business Review3 that sparked great interest in the business community.
EQ is about how we manage our emotions in various situations involving self and others.
It starts with an awareness of our own emotions and then our ability to manage our
responses to those emotions. It is also about learning to recognize the emotions of
others and respond by relating appropriate to the needs of the person and
circumstances.
Each of the four dominant emotions (Anger, Sadness, Joy and Fear) has the potential for
a proactive (positive) response and a reactive (negative) response. Those with high EQ
have learned to slow down their responses sufficiently to make proactive, rational based
choices that are likely to bring positive outcomes. Finally, when a person overuses or
overextends proactive strengths, he or she may be unaware of the negative impact on
others. Thus the central theme of EQ is to gain awareness and respond appropriately. It
sounds easy but it’s a challenge for all of us. The good news is that unlike IQ which is
fairly fixed for each individual, EQ is about choices and can be raised through awareness
and learned behaviors.
How do we perceive, control and evaluate emotions?
Three areas of the brain are responsible for rapidly generating emotional impulses as a
result of external stimulation or internal dialogue. These chambers or sections are
located at the lower part of the central section of the brain in what some refer to as the
limbic system. These chambers are the thalamus, which connects bodily sensation to
neurochemical reactions; the amygdala, which seems to be responsible for the rapid
appraisal of threat and danger; and the hippocampus, which helps to encode emotional
memories. Each of these chambers has two hemispheres which allow for even further
specialization in processing emotions.
When these areas are triggered, impulses are translated into feelings, and feelings are
cognitively interpreted and evaluated in the rational center of the brain called the
neocortex. It is at this point (all of this is happening at a very rapid rate) we decide how
we are going to respond to the initial stimulus. Research has shown that the more
developed our appraisal and evaluative capabilities are, the less we are prone to respond
to an emotional stimulation in a reactive or negative fashion.
Now let’s bring all that scientific talk down to an everyday example. Consider a typical
external stimulation that might come to you as you are driving to work. A reckless
speeder suddenly crosses three lanes of traffic and just misses you as he cuts in to make
the next exit. Your amygdala receives this information and appraises it as a severe
threat/danger. Based on your own natural wiring and your past experience your
hippocampus may remember that the knee-jerk reaction to such threats is extreme
Anger (adrenaline for fight or flight). Your impulse at this stage may be to have what
some have termed and “amygdala hijack” – your animal instincts take over and hostility
(reactive behavior of Anger) prevails. Your initial response may be to blow your horn,