How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 82

Examples include:
o I know you believe this might be difficult, but it will be worth it.
o I understand that you are concerned about the outcome, but your careful
preparation will ensure success.
o Many people feel, as you do, that it’s important to demonstrate integrity
in our work and product.
Lost Performative
In this case, you are stating a value judgment that omits identifying the
person who is doing the judging. This makes it a neutral, easy to agree
with statement. It is called the lost performative because there is no
indication of the source of the information. You are actually increasing
your ability to control the conversation without taking and
misinterpreting the other person’s point of view.
In this technique you make a neutral, easy to agree with statement
with no indication of the source of the information.
Examples include:
o It’s a fact that people like people who are like themselves.
o It’s good to know that the economy is getting better.
Cause and effect relationships
This helps you put across a message when you want the other person to
see the effect of what you are talking about.
For example:
o Seeing you come in late makes me feel you don’t care
o Coaching will help you learn many skills
o Attending this meeting will create changes

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