How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 51

This is why persuasion and influence are actually forms of advanced
communication. They require that you as a communicator stop thinking
about what you want to say or how you want to say it, and that you
instead figure out what the other person needs to hear. It requires that you
are self-aware enough to recognize when you are doing what feels most
comfortable for you rather than what will produce the results that you are
want. And it requires that you are calm and confident enough to keep
trying to identify what it is that the other person needs to hear from you even when it seems that you don't have a chance of getting the other
person to your side. In this eBook, we'll examine methods you can use to
enhance your communication skills so that you are able to successfully
influence and persuade others.

1.2 Manipulation vs. Influence and Persuasion
Some people are uncomfortable with the concepts of influence and
persuasion because they feel that they are manipulating others in some
way. However, they are thinking of the negative connotation of
manipulation. At its root, to manipulate something means that you are
able to change or alter it in some way by choice. But to manipulate is a
negative process if the intention behind the effort you are exerting is one
that is selfish or harmful in some way.
In the sense that we will be discussing influence and persuasion, we will
be assuming that the intentions behind the effort you exert are positive.
They are designed to help the individual, the team, the company, or the
clients that you are communicating with. For example, you might be
dealing with an employee who has a negative behaviour. If you want to
influence the employee or somehow persuade them to alter their attitude
or behaviour, you need to be very clear on why you want their behaviour
to change. If it is only because you find their behaviour annoying, then
your personal reasons aren't going to lead to positive influence. However,
if you have a clear understanding of how their behaviour and actions are
affecting you as a manager, your team's ability to perform, or the client's
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