How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 336

have to prove you are right 100 percent of the time. Skillful
persuaders will always find some point of agreement. It's
important to recognize the apprehension or objections people
have instead of ignoring them.
5. Stay calm. Scientific tests have proven that calmly stated facts are
more effective in getting people to change their minds than are
threats and force.
6. Don't be arrogant or condescending. Show empathy with your
prospect's objection. Let him know others have felt this way. Talk
in the third person; use a disinterested party to prove your point.
This is why we often use testimonials — to let someone else do
the persuading for us.
7. Give the person room to save face. People will often change their
minds and agree with you later. Unless your prospect has made a
strong stand, leave the door open for her to later agree with you
and save face at the same time. It could be that she did not have
all the facts, that she misunderstood, or that you didn't explain
everything correctly.
Quick Note: If you are dealing with a stubborn person who absolutely will
not change his mind about anything, don't panic. There are reasons why
this person is closed-minded and always saying "no" to everything. He
might not have a clear idea about what you are proposing, he may have
been hurt in the past, he may be afraid of being judged, or he may feel his
ideas are not appreciated. Don't take it personally; it will happen from
time to time.
[17]N. Rackham, Account Strategies for Major Sales (New York: McGraw-Hill,
1989), p. 143.
[18]E. Loftus, "Reconstructing Memory: The Incredible Eyewitness," Psychology
Today 8 (1974): 116.
[19]L. Wrightsman, M. Nietzel, and W. Fortune, Psychology and the Legal
System (Pacific Grove, Calif.: Brooks/Cole Publishing, 1994), p. 147.
[20]Ibid.

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